Tear You Apart
by swannsongg
Summary: AU. Dean meets a certain blue-eyed young man and develops a deadly obsession. How far will he go to claim Castiel as his own? And at what cost?
1. Chapter 1

**AU: Hi there! This is my very first fic and I'm a tad nervous about posting. Should be warned that there will be violence and sexual themes. In this fic Dean is a bit off his rocker so I'm not sure if anyone will enjoy how I portray him but whatevs. Just trying out something a little different.**  
**Also, the song "Tear You Apart" by She Wants Revenge kinda inspired this fic.**

**All characters sadly belong to Kripke, and not yours truly.**

**Chapter 1: **

_"Hello, Dean"_  
_"Cas" Dean replied, his lips curving into a mischievous smile as he approached the blue-eyed man._  
_Castiel kept his eyes on Dean as he stepped closer, reaching his hand out to trace his finger along Cas's stubble covered jaw._  
_"Dean.. wha-what are you doing?" Cas asked nervously._  
_Dean didn't give a reply, instead stepping in closer to the object of his desire._  
_Castiel slowly started to back away, until his back hit something solid. He tensed as he realized he had nowhere else to go._  
_Dean followed Cas as he backed up, finally reaching his goal as he pressed his chest against Castiel's, feeling the heat radiate from the other man._  
_Dean leaned his face in, nuzzling Castiel's neck before slowly dragging the tip of his tongue up the side of his neck, stopping to nip at his earlobe._  
_Cas shuddered, taking a deep and shaky breath. _  
_"Dean. I should... I should go.." Cas said nervously._  
_"Shhh.." Dean whispered in his ear, "you're not going anywhere"_

*beep, beep, beep, beep"  
Dean shot up in his bed and sighed, slamming his hand down on the snooze button of his alarm clock.  
"Fuck" he grumbled when he realized it was only a dream. Just another fucking dream about that innocent, kind, downright fucking angelic blue-eyed man.  
He had been dreaming about defiling that beautiful creature since he first layed eyes on him 4 months ago, on the first day of school of his senior year.  
"Dean!" a voice called from the other side of his bedroom door. "Get up! We're going to be late for school!"  
Dean let out a frustrated breath. "I'm up, Sammy" He grumbled back to his brother, before throwing his legs over the side of his bed, forcing himself to get up.

oOo

"Come on, Sam, let's go!" Dean yelled out from the window of his beloved car.  
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Sam yelled back as he ran toward the car, sliding into the passenger seat then slamming the door shut.  
"Forgot my math book, sorry" Sam apologized.  
"You're such a fucking nerd" Dean joked as pulled out of the drive way, starting their journey to school.

Sam and Dean lived by themselves, Dean being Sam's care taker and guardian if you will.  
Their mother was killed when Sam was just a baby, making Dean only 4 years old. After their mother's death, their father turned to alcohol to cope, leaving his 2 young sons to fend for themselves, sometimes for days on end.  
Dean always vowed to himself that he would get Sam away from their father and that life, so the day he turned 18 he took Sam, packed up what little they had, and never looked back.  
While they live in a run down apartment building in a sketchy area, it was paradise compared to their old life.

oOo

10 minutes later, they pulled into the school parking lot. They both got out and started heading into the school.  
"Hey, Sam!" a voice called out. Sam looked around before finding the source of the voice, turning at smiling at Dean. "Well, that would be Kevin, gotta go!"  
Dean just nodded at his brother, watching as he ran to greet his friend.  
He let out a sigh, continuing into the school building. As he was walking to his first class of the day, his phone let out a buzz signaling he had a text.

**Going to study at Kevin's after school, won't need a ride. His mom will take me home.**

**-Sam**

As he was reading the text, he got distracted, not watching where he was going until he slammed into a solid form, causing him to drop his phone and causing the other person to drop all of his books and papers.  
"Hey, watch where you're fucking going!" he snapped before realizing just who he bumped into.  
"I- I'm sorry, Dean" a deep, gravelly voice said before kneeling down in front of Dean to pick up his dropped items.  
"Cas.." Dean said, earning a pair of big, innocent looking blue eyes to look up at him. Castiel licked his lips nervously.  
"I should have been watching where I was going" Cas continued and DAMN that voice did things to Dean.  
Dean bit his bottom lip, looking down at the man knelt in front of him, and fuck if he didn't fantasize about what those beautiful blues would look like staring up at him while those pretty pink lips were wrapped around his cock.  
Dean shook the thought out of his head, going from angry to sweet and charming in about 2 seconds flat when he realized who the man was.  
He knelt down in front of Cas, picking up his cell phone before helping Cas gather the scattered papers.  
"Don't sweat it, Cas" Dean smiled, that million dollar smile, "accidents happen".  
Dean stood up, extending his hand out to Cas. Castiel hesitated for half a second before taking Dean's hand, allowing himself to be pulled up.  
"Thank you, Dean" Cas said with a smile smile, and when after a moment he realized he was still gripping Dean's hand, he quickly pulled away, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks.  
"Oh, the pleasure was ALL mine, Cas" Dean purred.  
Cas offered a small smile, giving Dean a slight nod before heading off to his first period class.  
Dean watched as the shorter man walked down the hall, a dangerous smile forming on his lips.  
"One day," he mumbled to himself, "you'll be mine. I'll make sure of it"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

Dean remembers the first time he met Castiel. It was the first day of school.  
He was sitting in his seat in his third period class, his body turned, hitting on the girl who was seated behind him. If he was going to be stuck in this God awful class, he might as well enjoy himself, right?  
"So, Lindsay.." he grinned up at the brown eyed girl "how's about you give me your number?"  
"Uhm, actually, it's- it's Lisa" the girl-Lisa, replied quietly, looking down.  
Dean chuckled.  
"Oh, my bad" he replied, gently taking her hand, causing her look meet his gaze again.  
"Why don't you let me make it up to you, Lisa?" he continued before planting a chaste kiss ontop her hand.  
Lisa's cheeks flushed, letting out a giggle. "I would like-"  
Before she could continue that thought, Dean heard a deep, delicious sounding voice coming from someone standing beside him.  
"Excuse me..."  
Dean let Lisa's hand go, turning his body to face the stranger. He was about to say something witty, something in typical Dean fashion when he took in the sight before him.  
"This, uhm, this is the only available seat left" the man continued. "I was hoping you wouldn't mind me sitting beside you"  
Dean lightly bit his lower lip, releasing it while letting his eyes slowly wander down the man's body, before dragging them back up to meet the strikingly blue gaze.  
After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Dean nodded at the man, flashing him a charming smile.  
"Seat's all yours, man."  
The man gave Dean a barely there smile before taking the seat beside him.  
"Thank you" he said, his eyes never leaving Dean's. "My name is Castiel".  
Dean took in the man's- Castiel's appearance.

_Shit, _this dude was fucking beautiful.  
He had these large, kind looking blue eyes. And not just any kind of blue. Blue like the fucking depths of the ocean. The bluest eyes Dean had ever seen. His body was slender, but by no means skinny or scrawny. A runners body, Dean would guess.  
He has these long, slim fingers which he ran through a mop of messy, dark, soft looking hair.  
It wasn't carelessly messy. It's like it was done on purpose. That hair made him look like he had just been thoroughly fucked. Dean wanted nothing more than to tug at it.  
He had just the slightest dusting of stubble covering this neck, jaw and cheeks which highlighted those full, pretty, luscious looking lips of his.  
In a word, the man was fucking perfect.  
He looked innocent, he looked trusting, and most importantly, he looked naive.

"Nice to meet you, Castiel" Dean beamed, "but I'm going to call you Cas. It's easier" he continued. "I'm Dean"

oOo

It started out innocently enough. Well, as innocent as it could have when it comes to Dean.  
He was a notorious charmer. He could spin any lie and manipulate pretty much anyone into getting what he wants.  
He didn't care who he hurt, or how many lives he ruined as long as he got his own way.  
He would romance just about anyone, girls, boys- not identifying himself as either gay or straight, he just _was- _telling them how much he loved them, how much he cared, basically telling them whatever they wanted to hear in order to get into their pants. He manipulated people into giving him money, manipulated them into fighting other people. All with the promise that after a night of passion and violence, that he would always love them, only to blatantly ignore them the next day, acting as if nothing ever happened.

But that all changed the day he met Cas. He didn't want to just fuck and forget him. Well, he did at first, but slowly, that changed.  
He found himself becoming infatuated with the dark haired man. And what started out as a simple attraction, slowly started to become a downright obsession. He wanted Cas. He wanted to claim Cas as his own. To wreck him, to break him apart and put him back together.  
He found himself following Castiel from time to time, once following him to his home so he could keep tabs on him. He studied Castiel's school schedule, watched him from the cafeteria to discover his favorite foods, even once broke into his locker to see if there was anything he could learn about the object of his desires.

Dean was a bit of a sadist. He liked pain. He got off on it. He needed to destroy the people he was with. He knew that if he had Castiel, that he would want to inflict pain on him. To paint that beautiful creamy skin with bruises and scars. Which is why he backed off at first.  
Dean didn't care who he hurt. He didn't care for people in general. He never felt guilt making someone cry, making them beg, making them feel like shit. The only person he harbored any kind of feelings for was Sam. He would never do anything to hurt him.  
That is, until he met Cas. He found himself...caring. He never had a desire to be with anyone. But Cas, oh man, Cas made him care. He wanted Cas. He wanted to be with him.  
But his desire soon clouded any judgement he had, any voice of reason.

Castiel was well liked at the school by both the teachers and the students. He was kind and smart and selfless and always helped someone in need.  
He was also hot.  
He was frequently hit on by both males and females, which made Deans blood boil with rage.  
As far as he was concerned, Cas was his. He was going to claim Cas as his own. And anyone who tried to stop him, or get in his way, would have to be punished.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hello friends.**

**I decided to post another chapter today because I got bored. It won't be very long as usual but hey. Also there will be some poorly written sexy talk. Slight dub-con and Dean getting freaky with himself. Just a warning.**

**Also thank you to LyricReilly for the review :') I'm happy someone enjoys my fic!**

**Anyway, without further adieu...**

**Chapter 3:**

It was Friday, and thank fucking God for that because Dean didn't think he could get through another long, uneventful school day. The week went by without incident, it had been the same old same old, except for the fact that Castiel had been absent for the last 2 days, causing frustration and a slight panic in Dean.

Where was Cas?

Was he okay?

Did he switch schools?

It wasn't like Cas to miss school.

It was starting to drive Dean crazy. And he was finding it increasingly difficult to put of the facade of happiness and indifference.

When Friday rolled around and Castiel still was nowhere to be found, Dean took it upon himself to find some answers. And those answers would come from Castiel's younger brother, Gabriel, who was coincidentally one of Sam's best friends.

He stalked the hallways for all of 10 minutes before he spotted his own rapidly growing brother, and seriously, Dean wouldn't be surprised if Sam grew up to tower over him at the rate he was growing. He looked at his brother and "jackpot" he thought to himself as he spotted the shorter Novak standing with Sam, waiting as Sam gathered his books from his locker.

He walked over to the two younger boys with purpose, interrupting their conversation.

Dean cleared his throat, gaining their attention.

"Hey, Dean. What's up?" Sam asked his brother curiously.

It was rare for Dean to approach his brother. He rarely ever bothered with Sam while at school unless Sam needed him for something, or was having problems. Dean preferred it this way.

It wasn't that he didn't love his brother, he really did. More than anything. But he didn't want to distract his baby brother from his schooling and his social life.

Sam was smart. Freakishly smart. Dean knew that once he graduated, Sam would go off to some prestigious university to become a fancy lawyer or doctor. Not that it bothered him, in fact it made him beam.

He knew his brother was destined for good things and he was immensely proud of him.

Sam was a good kid, and Dean, well, Dean was Dean. He was a liar, a player, a slacker, a manipulator, he slept around and got into fights.

The last thing Dean wanted was for his reputation to rub off on his brother.

It wasn't like Dean was unliked, quite the opposite, actually. Girls flocked to him like the sun shone out of his ass and guys always tried to get him to join their sports teams.

He was God. At least that's how he described himself. He was gorgeous. Sandy hair, full, plump lips, eyes greener than Gods green earth, and a body to be envied.

If he wanted, he could be popular. He could rule the school. He could have a hot girlfriend, and have a group of macho, meat head friends.

The only problem? He didn't like people. Everyone was below him. They were disgusting and he only socialized with them if he needed something from them. Beyond that, they were disposable. A worthless, pathetic flock of sheep.

"Hey, Sammy" Dean grinned at his brother, knowing just how much his brother hated that nickname.

Sam shot him one of his ever famous bitch faces, "don't call me that, Dean. It's sam" he grumbled, before letting out a sigh.

"What do you want, Dean? I have to hurry, I don't want to be late for class"

"Forever the biggest nerd, aren't ya Sammy?" Dean joked back, earning another bitch face.

"I'm actually here to talk to short stack over here" he said, nodding his head toward Gabriel before crossing his arms over his chest, leaning back until his back rested against the cool metal of the lockers behind him.

"Hey!" Gabriel protested, "you know what they say, Dean-o. Big things come in small packages"

Dean scoffed, rolling his eyes at Gabe.

"If by big, you mean a big fucking pain in my ass, then yeah, I guess you're right."

"Did you just come over here to talk about your ass? Or did you need something?"

"Your brother.." Dean deadpanned, all humor screeching to a halt. "Where is he?"

"Why? You miss him?" Gabe teased.

"Don't be an idiot, where is Castiel?" Dean asked, frustration starting to bubble to the surface.

"Aww, our little Dean has a crush on Cassie!" Gabe exclaimed "I don't know why though, dude's about as appealing as a banana peel"

Something snapped in Dean.

"Just tell me where the fuck he is Gabriel!" He spat, a little harsher than he intended to.

Sam looked up at Dean, his eyes wide. It took a lot to set his brother off. He rarely ever seen his brother upset or angry. Sam felt a wave of nervousness flow through him. Dean could never handle is anger well.

"Dean? Is everything okay? Sam asked, causing Dean to take in the worried expression on his brothers face.

And like a switch went off, the anger dissolved in him, soon being replaced by the charming yet impassive mask he so frequently wore.

It gave Sam and Gabe the chills, seeing how quick he changed personalities.

Dean cleared his throat, giving an empty smile at his brother.

"Yeah, Sam, I'm fine. Just haven't seen Cas around, and I was wondering if he was okay"

Gabe sighed, not wanting to set Dean off again for Sam's sake. Gabriel usually got his kicks out of getting such reactions out of people but grew concerned when he saw the worried expression on his best friend's face.

"He's fine, Dean-o. He just caught the flu. He should be back on Monday"

"Great, that's all I needed to know" Dean replied, giving Gabe an expressionless stare down before pushing himself off of the lockers.

"I'll catch you later, Sam" turning his attention to his little brother, before turning on his heel to walk down the hall.

"What the fuck is your brother's problem, dude? I never seen him pissed off before"

Gabe asked, giving Sam a serious expression for once.

"I don't know, Gabe" Sam replied quietly, staring down at his shoes. "But it can't be good"

oOo

**12:52 AM, Saturday morning:**

Dean parked his car about a block away from the Novak residence, opening his door and stepping out into the cold, bitter December air. He adjusted his leather jacket for maximum warmth before slamming the car door shut, starting to make his way toward the house where Castiel and his family lived. When he reached his destination, he crouched down behind a bush across the street the nice family home.

While he was waiting, snow flakes started to slowly make their way down toward the Earth, causing Dean to sigh. They reminded him of Cas. So pure, so gentle, and so beautiful.

Every little thing reminded him of Cas. Snow. The ocean. Fucking puppies and kittens. The stars in the damn sky. Everything he watched, listened to, looked at, touched, reminded him of Cas. His thoughts were consumed by the man.

He missed seeing Cas. He missed his scent, that earthy, clean, intoxicating scent, he missed his voice, and he was losing his fucking mind, which is what fueled his trip to the Novak residence.

He waited, crouched and shivering behind that God forsaken bush for about 40 minuets before he noticed that the last of the lights in the house had turned off for the night. Everyone should be in bed, now.

He decided to wait an additional 20 minutes to make sure, before standing up, finally making his way toward this house, opting to enter it from the back door.

When he reached the door, he put his ear against it to see if he could hear any movement, and when he didn't, he went to work on picking the lock.

When he heard a slight *click* he smiled mischievously to himself, slowly opening the door. He stepped inside, wiping his boots on the mat below him, being cautious not to leave an evidence of his visit.

He quietly closed the door behind him, reaching his hand behind him to the waistband of his pants, smiling when the felt the metal of the gun he had tucked there. He was going to see Cas, and wanted to make sure that nobody got in the way of that.

He quietly tiptoed throughout the house, and when he finally found the staircase, he slowly made his way upstairs.

When he reached the top, he was pleased to see that Castiel's door had his name on it. He crept down the hallway, until he reached his destination. He bit his lip as he slowly opened the door.

A small smile formed on his lips, his heart skipping a beat when he took in the signt before him.

There, on a soft looking queen sized bed, was a shirtless, sleeping Cas. Next to him was a box of Kleenex and various cold and flu medications.

Dean quietly closed the door behind him, making his way over to Cas's sleeping form. From the waist down, he was tangled in a large grey comforter, leaving his naked chest exposed.

Dean bit down on his lip hard, feeling a familiar heat pool in his belly.

Castiel was lying on his back, his beautiful chest and part of that perfect stomach showing. He looked peaceful, those blue eyes oblivious to the man hovered above him. His full lips were parted slightly.

Dean just stared for a minute before taking his phone out. There was no way he couldn't leave without being able to stare at that body again. He turned the shutter volume down on his phone before starting to take photos of the unconscious man.

When he was done, he slowly and nervously slid his finger down Castiel's neck, stopping only for a moment to make sure Cas wouldn't wake up. He smiled to himself when he realized Cas was out cold.

He continued his trail down Castiels neck, dragging it down his chest, stopping to lightly run the tip of his finger over Castiel's nipple. He froze in his tracks when he heard a noise coming from Cas, looking at his face before realizing it was a small moan.

Dean let out a quiet breath, feeling his own erection starting to swell in his jeans. He repeated the motion against Cas's nipped, earning him another small moan. He bit his lip, noticing the small pick nub begin to react to the touch. Dean took a shaky breath, deciding to try something a little bolder. He leaned his head down toward Castiel's chest, before sticking his tongue out to flick at his nipple. Another moan escaped Cas's lips as Dean did it again, this time lightly sucking the nipple into his mouth. He tensed up when he felt Cas start to stir, panic building in his chest.

He decided not to push his luck, and went to leave before wanting to do just one more thing.

He looked down at Cas's face, his lips still slightly parted.

Dean licked his lips before leaving down, pressing his lips against Cas's.

It took everything in his power not to tear the blanket off Cas and have his way with him. He easily could have, and boy did he want to.

But he resisted the urge, opting to get out of there before he took it any further.

oOo

Dean pretty much sped home, not caring if he caused an accident. He was running on adrenaline, he felt excitement that he never experienced before.

When he reached his apartment, he quietly stepped in, softly closing the door as to not wake Sam.

He quickly fled to his room, stripping down to his boxers to get comfortable for bed. He flopped down onto his bed, sighing before remembering the photos he took.

He smiled excitedly to himself, unlocking his phone, starting to review the photos he took of Cas, causing the heat to return to his groin.

He slid his hand down his torso, slipping it into his boxers. He let out a whimper as he ran his fingers up and down his length, before taking himself into his hand. He closed his eyes, as he gathered the pre-come that gathered on his tip to help slick himself up.

His thoughts flooded to Castiel. To kissing him. To sucking on the man's chest. He let out a groan, starting to fist his cock faster. He needed release, he was going to explode. Cas was going to make him explode.

"Cas..." he moaned quietly, imagining that it was Cas's long nimble fingers wrapped around his cock.

"Mmm.. Cas...fuck...fuck..." He cried out, feeling his release fill his boxers, coating his hand.

He shuddered, letting out a shaky breath.

"Cas..." he breathed, barely audible, before cleaning himself up and falling into the deepest sleep he's had in years.


	4. Author's note

**A/N:**

Hi there readers. This isn't a new chapter and I'm sorry about that.   
**I'm writing this because I just wanted to let you know where I'm at. **  
**Not a lot of people seem to be interested in this fic which is making it hard to find the motivation to continue on with it.**  
**As previously stated, this is my very first attempt at writing and I'm just feeling very unsure.**  
**I know a lot of writers who don't feel like continuing on with their fics just abruptly stop without no warning to their loyal readers.**  
**I have experienced first hand how much it sucks to get into a story just for it to be abandoned with no hope of ever being picked up.**

**Personally, I still like my idea for this fic and while they aren't the best, I'm proud of the chapters I have posted.**  
**I may not have many likes or follows but I am over the moon that even a couple of people enjoy my story.**

**This is just a little note to the people following, I may or may not finish. **  
**I don't really know what I'm doing here and don't have anyone to Beta my work, for if anyone I socialize in the real world knew I wrote homo-erotic fanfiction, it would make for an uncomfortable time, haha.**

**Anyhow, sorry for my ramblings, and I really am going to try to find the motivation to continue, for the few people who have made me feel confident in my writing. :)**

**Anyway, as Dean would say, enough with the chick-flick moments.**

**Just wanted to give ya'll a heads up! **

**Thanks for reading my rambles. **

**Love you, faithful followers and favorite-rs. **  
**:)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Howdy there. Still don't know if I'll be committing 100% to this fic but as stated before, I will continue to try to post. Most of my chapters will most likely be short but hey, whatevs, right?**

**Anyhow, enjoy! **

**Chapter 5: (technically)**

*knock knock knock*

Dean groaned, being awoken from the knocking on his bedroom door.

"What?" he grumbled.

"Can I come in?" a familiar voice- Sam, called.

Dean sighed, looking over at his alarm clock.

2:34 pm. Damn, he had slept better than he thought. He sat up, leaning over his bed to grab a pain of pajama pants that had been left on the floor, pulling them on.

"Uh, yeah, Sammy come on in"

Sam entered with a small smile, walking over to Dean's bed, taking a seat on the edge of it. Sam fidgeting with his hands for a moment, looking down for a half a minute, before looking up at Dean.

"Hey, I just wanted to see if you were okay, you seemed pretty agitated yesterday at school, and after I went to bed last night, I woke up to get a drink and you weren't here..." Sam said, careful to choose his wording.

Dean looked to his baby brother, seeing concern in his eyes. He understood where Sam was coming from. Dean doesn't handle anger in a healthy way. He'll be reckless. He'll drink himself into a coma, or go out and start a fight, he gets violent and has no sense of danger. He hears Sam's voice ringing in his head.

_"One of these days you're going to accidentally kill somebody, Dean. If you don't manage to accidentally kill yourself first"_

Dean cleared his throat, looking at Sam with sincerity. "Yeah, I'm okay Sammy. Just had a rough day, that's all" he lied.

"Oh, well do you want to talk about it? You know you can talk to me, Dean"

"Yeah, I know. And no, I don't want to talk about it. Thanks though, bro."

Sam nodded slowly, and though he was concerned, he didn't push the issue.

"Where did you go last night? You were out pretty late" Sam asked, hoping his brother didn't do anything stupid.

Memories of his nightly activities briefly flooded his mind. Breaking into Castiel's home. Watching his sleeping form. Tasting his skin. Hearing his soft, sleepy moans. Dean smiled to himself, the rush of last night coming back to him.

"I just went for a walk," he lied, and knowing Sam wouldn't buy it, he quickly added "and I stopped at a bar. The Roadhouse, remember that place? I had a few beers and the place was dead so I headed home"

Sam considered his answer for a moment, deciding to believe Dean's story.

"Okay, good. I'm glad that you got home safe"

"Yeah, yeah Sammy. Now how about you scram so I can grab a shower and get dressed. It's pretty late in the day and we don't have much food, so when I'm done we'll go and grab some grub"

Sam smiled, nodding.

"Okay, but don't be long! I'm starving" he said cheerfully, getting up to leave Dean to get ready.

Dean got up, heading to the bathroom. He stripped from his pajama pants, starting the water before stepping in. He smiled to himself, feeling the hot water pour down on him. He took the moment alone to go into his memory bank, and use the memory of Cas to relieve the erection he had been sporting under his pants and blankets since Sam questioned where he was last night.

oOo

Nothing too exciting took place the rest of the weekend. Dean kept busy with planning how to hustle some money to get Sam a new laptop for Christmas, which was right around the corner.

When Monday rolled around, Sam and Dean went to school as usual. The morning was boring, full of shit lessons that Dean was sure he'd never need anyway.

When time came for third period, Dean practically sped walked to class. Hoping, praying, that he would enter the room to see a mop of messy dark hair poking out from the other students.

He walked into the classroom, nobody paying attention, when a pair of ocean blues looked up to meet his gaze.

Dean bit his lip, already feeling the heat pool in his belly. He slowly walked over, taking his seat beside the man he had previously molested in his sleep.

"Hello, Dean"

And fuck. Fuck fuck fuck FUCK. His voice was even deeper than before, from recovering from the sore throat he was suffering when he was sick. That voice would sound fucking angelic screaming Dean's name out.

Dean was internally freaking out. He wanted to grab Cas, slam him onto the floor and have his way with him. But as usually, he kept his cool, calm demeanor.

"Hey, Cas. Heard you were sick, feeling any better?" Dean asked, tunring his body toward Cas.

"Yes, it appears I had caught the flu. I had taken precautions to avoid falling ill but evidently they failed" Cas said, with a small smile.

Dean nodded, shooting Cas a friendly smile. "Looks like it," he said, "glad you're better, though. I missed seeing you around."

Dean noticed the color of Castiel's cheeks go from a beautiful porcelain color to bright red in about 1 second flat.

"You- you did?" Cas said shyly.

Dean grinned, a big, confident grin. "Of course," he purred, bringing his hand to rest on Castiel's forearm "who else would I have to look at if you weren't here?"

Cas looked down on Dean's hand on his arm, blushing furiously. Dean was top shit. He had people flocking to him. Was it even possible that Dean, Dean friggen Winchester, was hitting on him?

Castiel was 100 different kinds of attractive. But his self-esteem told him otherwise. He was shy, had messy hair, he wasn't tanned and muscled and his social skills were less than stellar.

"Uhm, I don't know. You could look at Lisa, or- or Meg, or-" he stammered on awkwardly, wishing he would just shut his mouth. Dean interrupted him before he could continue rambling on.

"Fuck, Cas, they've got nothing on you" he winked, feeling cocky and pleased with himself, knowing the effect he had on Cas.

Castiel went to say something else when the teacher entered, and Dean withdrew his hand from Cas's arm, winking at him before turning his attention to the teacher.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Castiel looking down, still blushing. He enjoyed watching the man become flustered over him. He knew he could pick Cas apart. He knew he could do things to him, that nobody else could.

He had been shamelessly hitting on him for months now. He wasn't even sure Cas was gay until Dean made a comment about giving great head, and noticing the small bulge that formed in Castiel's pants.

This was going to be easier than he thought.

oOo

**A/N: Kind of a blah chapter, but I didn't wanna rush things too much and yadda yadda. Hope you enjoy regardless. Don't be afraid to leave some love. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:**

**Greetings, readers. I bring you a new chapter! I think things are going to take a darker turn soon, but I'm not sure. But I just wanted to warn ya in case they do.**

**Thank you also to the guest reviewer by the name of LadyJaye for the review, thank you to mailaine for pointing me in the direction of finding a beta, and massive thanks to LyricReilly for the encouragement. Your reveiw really made my night :') **

**Chapter 6:**

After third period class, Cas got up quickly leaving. Dean watched the man awkwardly shuffle out of the class, chuckling to himself.

He had spent the entire class finding ways to make Cas nervous. A subtle touch here, a flirty remark there, he enjoyed watching Cas squirm. He knew Cas was shy. He doubts that he has much experience sexually. Not that Cas isn't downright fuckable, and not that there wouldn't be a line of people willing to show Cas the ropes, but Cas was awkward and shy and quiet. Every time someone had made a sexual advance at him, he would freeze up and leave before anything could happen.

Dean intimidated him. He didn't know what Dean's end game was. Why was he flirting with him? Wait, that's a stupid question. Dean flirts with everybody.

The thought of that made Cas upset. Dean was the bee's knees and for a half a second he thought that Dean might like him. Not that he would do anything about it if Dean came on to him anyway, he's too shy. Too inexperienced.

He wishes he had the balls to tell Dean to quit hitting on him. It was starting to distract him. He was usually pretty good at ignoring any flirting that came his way. But Dean, Dean is different. Dean is everything Cas is not. He's tough, confident, strong, the list goes on.

A guy like Dean would never go for a guy like Cas.

LIttle did Cas know that Dean didn't just fancy him, he was downright obsessed.

As Castiel was walking through the hall, lost in his thoughts about Dean, he felt an arm wrap him.

"Hey Cassanova."

Cas smiled, looking over at his friend.

"Hey, Jo."

Jo was Castiel's best friend, the only person he felt comfortable around. Jo could read him like a book, never judged him, not too harshly anyway, and always kept his secrets. He trusted Jo. He's sure if he wasn't gay, that he would be with Jo.

"You're looking a little flustered there, Novak. You still feeling sick?" Jo asked, removing her arm from around him, instead opting to link arms with him.

Cas gave a nervous chuckle.

"No, no. I'm feeling okay." He smiled to himself, remembering the small touches Dean would leave on him. He blushed.

"Ohhh, I know that look, Castiel has a crush" Jo teased, "spill. I want all the dirty details"

"I don't have a 'crush' as you like to call it, Joanna Beth. It's nothing. It's possible I was reading into it too much, anyway" He sighed.

"Oh, so there IS a guy, isn't there? And so help me God, Castiel James Novak, if you do not fill me in I will be forced to result to physically beating it out of ya"

Cas looked down, chewing his bottom lip.

"It really is nothing. I just- I don't know. I believe Dean Winchester was flirting with me throughout class."

Jo stopped in her tracks, spinning herself around to face Castiel.

"No, Castiel. Don't even go there" she said sternly, looking Cas in the eye with seriousness.

He tilted his head slightly, giving Jo a questioning look.

"Go where?"

"I know that look in your eyes. You like him, don't you?"

"I don't even really know him, Jo"

"Exactly, but I've heard rumors and although the guy looks like a Greek God sent from the heavens above, you can't persue that"

Cas narrowed his eyes at her, not understanding what she was trying to say.

"And why can't I? I mean, you know me, I wouldn't anyway. I'm too shy. And also, since when are you one to believe rumors, Jo?"

Jo sighed, putting her hand on Castiel's shoulder.

"I know you wouldn't, but in the event he tries to ask you out, or persue YOU, then it would be wise to kindly decline. I don't usually believe rumors, but Dean has never denied them"

"And what exactly are these rumors?"

"Besides the obvious fact that if by chance you ever did have a night of mind blowing passion with him, he'd leave you high and dry the next day" she started, earning a nod from Castiel. He did know that was the game Dean liked to play, but he also knows that in the event that he ever go on a date with Dean, he would be too insecure and shy to let Dean have his way with him anyway, so that wasn't a concern, "but there's other rumors too. Worse rumors. Cas, Dean Winchester is dangerous. He's violent. He manipulates people. And the worst rumor that's going around is that a few years ago, he had a girlfriend, got so obsessed with her that he got violent with her. Dean isn't a gentle lover, Castiel. He's just not a good person to get into it with"

Cas looked at her, mouth gaping slightly. No way Dean was that violent. He was always so charming and in control.

"Jo, it's not fair to assume that those rumors are true," he started, before Jo interrupted him.

"I've talked to a couple of girls he's slept with. They all say the same thing. He gets a little too rough in the bedroom. He doesn't have any regard for anybody's feelings, Cas. So, just promise me, steer clear of him. He's bad news."

Jo looked dead serious. She wasn't joking around.

"Okay, Jo. I promise. Nothing was going to happen, anyway." he told her. She slowly nodded, before turning back around, linking arms with him again, taking off down the hallway.

"Good," she smiled.

oOo

After third period class, Dean decided to skip fourth. He didn't plan on graduating anyway, so what does it matter? He only even goes to school for Sam anyway. And third period was the only class he attended everyday, so whatever, right?

He was wandering the empty halls when his phone vibrated. He took it out of his pocket and unlocked it, revealing a text from Sam.

**Hey, I know you're probably skipping class, so could you do me a huge favor and go to the library and take out some books on WWII for me? I have a project and won't have enough time to run to the library after school.**

**- Sam**

Dean sighed, turning in the direction of the library. Sam never asked for anything, so he figured he could do him a solid.

**Whatever, nerd.**

**- D. **

A minute later, his phone vibrated again.

**Thanks, bro! I owe you one!**

**- Sam.**

Dean smiled to himself, heading into the library. As he was scanning the isles for the appropriate books, he spotted Castiel, who was sitting in one of the comfortable chairs in the corner, his brow slightly furrowed as he read the book in his hands.

Before Dean could even think, he found his feet dragging him in Castiel's direction.

He plopped down in the chair in front of Cas, biting his lip.

"Skipping class, are we?"

Cas's head shot up from his book, obviously startled by Dean's sudden appearance.

"Dean.." he started nervously, "oh, uhm, no. I'm not skipping. I have a free period"

Dean met looked at him, meeting his gaze.

"And here I thought you were being a bad boy" He said seductively, causing Cas to break the gaze and look down, trying to hide his blush.

"Wh- what are you doing here, Dean?" He managed to choke out.

"Had to grab some books for my brother. He has some project and didn't have time to grab them and blah blah blah."

"Oh"

Dean watched the other man briefly, clearing his throat, causing Cas to look back up at him.

"So, Cas. What are you doing this Friday" Dean asked.

Cas panicked for a moment. Was Dean going to ask him out? No, there was no way. He was probably just making conversation.

"Uhm, I don't- I don't know, why do you ask?"

"Well, I was just wondering if I could take you out. Show you a good time." Dean said simply, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Cas stared at Dean, a little shocked that was just asked on a date. By Dean Winchester of all people. He was about to awkwardly say yes, when he remembered his promise to Jo.

"Oh, uhm, well thank you for the invitation, Dean. But I'm afraid I have to decline" he said quietly, looking back down at his book to avoid Dean's reaction.

"And why's that, Cas?"

Cas froze, damn, what was he going to say? He didn't count on Dean asking why.

"I uhm, I just- I have plans already. With my friend" he lied, still refusing to meet Dean's gaze.

"A guy friend?" Dean asked, his voice turning serious.

"Oh, uh, no. My friend Jo. We're going to have a movie night"

"I see. What about Saturday?" Dean replied.

Cas dared to sneak a peak up at Dean, who's expression was blank. He couldn't read what the other man was thinking.

"I actually am booked up for a while, sorry, Dean"

Dean bit the inside of his cheek. Did he really just get rejected. He felt anger bubble up in him, He clenched his fists for a minute before taking a breath, forcing himself to play it cool.

"Okay then. I'll leave you alone then" He deadpanned, getting up, quick to check the books out for Sam and leave.

oOo

It was Friday. Dean noticed that Castiel was starting to avoid him. He decided to take matters into his own hands, and see what the deal was. He felt Cas was lying to him. He didn't understand. It was making him crazy. During class, Dean tapped Cas on the shoulder.

"Still have plans tonight?" He asked, noticing how Cas started fidgiting.

"Uh, yes, I do, Dean. I'm sorry. Movie night cannot be canceled"

"Uh-huh" Dean replied flatly.

"I'll find out if you're lying to me" Dean thought to himself.

oOo

It was around 7 when Dean decided to stake out the Novak home. He needed to know if Cas was indeed out with Jo. Ten minutes after arriving, he seen Castiel exit the house, dressed in sweat pants and a t-shirt, he quickly ran to the end of the walkway, throwing his family's garbage out before turning to run back into the house to avoid getting cold.

"Strange," Dean thought to himself. Maybe the movie night started later. He tried giving Cas the benefit of the doubt. He didn't want to be mad at Cas. That would just complicate things.

When after an hour, he noticed Cas still hadn't left, he decided to give Sam a call.

"Hello?"

"Hey Sammy, you with short-stack?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Ask him if Cas will be home later. I took his text book by mistake and wanted to return it to him" Dean lied

Sam asked Gabriel, and Dean heard his reply.

"Cas is always home, dude has no life"

Sam relayed the message to Dean, who nodded to himself.

"Oh, really? Because I heard that he was having a movie night tonight. And I'd return it tomorrow but I also heard that Cas would be busy all weekend" Dean baited.

He heard Sam ask Gabe again, before responding.

"Nope, Gabe said Cas is most definitel**y** not busy this weekend and that he told him that he would be playing Halo alone all night"

Dean clenched his teeth, Cas had lied to him.

"Thanks, Sam" He said quickly, hanging up on his brother without a goodbye.

"That motherfucker" Dean thought to himself. He was seething. He wanted to storm into the house and teach Cas a lesson.

He was about to get up, his anger replacing any rational thinking, when a plan hit him.

He was going to make Cas need him. He was going to make Cas want him. He was going to have Cas if it killed him.

oOo

It was Saturday evening, Sam had let slip that Cas was going to the local cafe to get some studying done. That's when Dean's plan came into motion. He waited outside the Novak residence, and when Cas finally left, Dean got up to follow him. It was only 6:30 at night but it was already dark out, snow falling lightly.

Dean felt his phone vibrate, he had an incoming call.

He put the phone up to his ear, "yeah?"

"Is that the guy? The dark haired one with the blue jacket?" a gruff sounding voice came from the oher end.

"Yeah, it is. You know what to do" Dean said coldly before hanging up.

He watched as a large, rough looking man approached Castiel. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but he watched as the man grabbed Cas, shoving him into a nearby alley way.

He ran to catch up with the man and Castiel, hearing Cas's voice as he approached.

"Let me go! Leave me alone!" he heard Cas beg.

After that he heard punch connecting with someones face, followed by a whimper.

He ran into the alleyway, seeing Cas hold his mouth, tears filling his eyes.

"Hey, what the fuck do you think you're doing?" He yelled at the other man, tacking him down. He threw a punch, connecting with the other mans jaw. The other man shoved Dean off, running off down the alley.

Cas slid down the wall, still holding his mouth.

Dean grouched down in front of him, taking Castiel's hands, pulling them away from his mouth. Castiel's lip had been busted, blood covering his lips.

Dean would deny it if he were asked, but Cas looked fucking hot all bloodied. The thought sent an excited jolt down to his groin. He held his composure, putting on a concerned face, looking into Castiel's tear filled eyes.

"Hey, Cas, are you okay man?" He asked

"No- I mean, yeah, I am now. He came out of nowhere, Dean and attacked me. Thank God you were close by. Who knows what he would have done" Cas said, shock still on his face.

Dean nodded, reaching his hand out to Castiel's face, lightly running his thumb over Castiel's bloodied lip.

"You're bleeding" He stated simply.

Cas nodded, wincing a bit at Dean's thumb brushing the fresh would, watching Dean intently.

Cas sucked in a breath with Dean withdrew his hand, slipping his thumb into his mouth to suck Castiel's blood off of it.

"Thank you, Dean. For coming to my aid. I could have got really hurt" Cas managed to blurt out.

"I'd never let anything happen to you, Cas" Dean cooed, bringing his hand up once again to cup Castiel's cheek. Cas felt himself lean into the touch. He felt safe. How could Dean be a terrible guy if he had just saved him?

Little did Cas know, Dean had payed the stranger to attack Cas. He needed an excuse to save Cas. He needed to be Castiel's hero. One look at the appreciative and trusting look on Cas's face, and he knew his plan had worked.

oOo

**A/N:**

**Well, there it is. I told ya, Dean is willing to resort to drastic measures to get Cas. **

**I hope you all like it, and aren't too freaked out that Dean is kinda a psycho, haha. **

**Love and review, s'il vous plaît.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:**

**Short lil chapter today. I'm hitting a bit of writers block but I shall work through it! Thanks for sticking with me, readers! **

**Chapter 7:**

Castiel had decided to head to the local cafe to get some studying done. He had spent all night Friday and all day Saturday thinking about Dean. He couldn't get Jo's words out of his head. There's no way those rumors could be true, right? Dean was just so charming. So well composed. But why would those girls lie about Dean getting violent? And if it were true, why do those same girls flock back to him if he apparently treated them so harshly? Most importantly, why in the world did Dean ask him out, when surely he heard the notrious rumors of his lack of sexuality.

Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose, a headache forming. He got dressed, throwing his heavy blue winter jacket on before poking his head into the living room, where his brother and his friend Sam were playing video games.

"Going to the cafe to get some studying done, Gabriel. I trust you and young Samuel will behave yourselves?"

"No, we're going to hire some hookers and throw a massive soiree" Gabe said sarcastically, not tearing his eyes away from the television screen.

"Very well, use protection and keep them out of my room" Castiel joked back, opening the front door and stepping into the cold.

He had been walking for about 10 minutes when he felt a pair of strong hands grip his jacket, shoving him into the nearest alleyway. He gasped turning around, barely having time to register what was happening when those same strong hands shoved him roughly into the brick wall behind him. He felt his head connect with the solid surface, wincing in pain.

He decided to try to make a run for it, but the second he tried to push himself away from the wall, the hands of his attacker gripped his arms tightly. He took in the attackers appearance. He looked dirty. He had an unkempt beard and had a look in his eyes that made Cas believe he was on some type of drug.

"Let me go! Leave me alone!" he found himself begging.

The attacker slammed him into the wall again by his arms, letting go of one before lifting his arm up, all Cas could see is a fist approach his face before his vision temporarily went black.

He slid down the wall, his vision returning as he held his mouth in shock, tears filling his eyes.

"Hey, what the fuck do you think you're doing?" He heard a familiar voice yell. It all happened so fast, his attacker was taken down, punched in the face before he took off. The man that came to his aid knelt down in front of him. He brought his eyes up to meet those of said man, his heart picking up speed when blue met green.

"Hey, Cas, are you okay man?"

oOo

Dean took Castiel's hand, pulling him up. Cas still seemed to be in a bit of shock, so Dean gave him a moment to get himself together.

"I can't even begin to express how grateful I am to you, Dean" Cas finally muttered out, his eyes meeting Dean's, looking larger than usual.

Dean ran his hand down Cas's arm, taking his now cold hand in his.

"It's no big Cas, I'm happy you didn't get more hurt, though"

Cas just simply nodded.

"Did you want a ride home? I could call a cab, my car is at home. I imagine you wouldn't want to stay out here" He said.

Cas shook his head.

"No, I- I'm fine. I was just going to get a coffee and get some studying done"

Dean frowned. Damn. Maybe his plan didn't work after all.

"Okay, Cas" he said, releasing Castiel's hand "I'll see you Monday, then"

As he turned to walk away, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Actually, would it be too much to ask for company, Dean? It's pretty cold outside, maybe you could grab a coffee with me?"

Dean smiled victoriously to himself, before turning to face Cas.

"I would love nothing more, Castiel"

oOo

They had sat at the cafe, talking, laughing, and flirting for what seemed like hours before the barista trotted over to them.

"Excuse me, gentlemen, but we're starting to close up the shop"

Dean looked down at his watch.

9:56 pm

"Oh shit" he mumbled to himself, standing up, stretching before extending his hand down to Cas.

"Come on, Cas. Let's get out of here."

It wasn't hard to notice the blush that crept across Cas's cheeks when he took Dean's hand.

When they left, it was snowing a little harder. Dean still hadn't let go of Cas's hand, and he marveled at how well there hands fit together. Castiel's hand was soft, but he had a firm grip. He loved the way his skin felt. He longed to touch the rest of him. To kiss and taste every inch of that soft, pale skin.

"Let me walk you home?" he asked, starting to walk down the street with Cas.

"Yes, I'd like that" Cas replied quietly, a small smile playing on his lips.

They walked in comfortable silence, hand in hand until they reached Castiel's house.

"I'd invite you in, but it's getting late" Castiel said as the approached the front door.

"No worries, Cas. I gotta get home anyway. Sam should be home by now and I gotta get him some food"

Cas nodded, turning toward Dean.

"Thank you, Dean. For everything"

"It was my pleasure, Cas. If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, I'll be there in a heartbeat"

Cas smiled a small, shy smile. They stared at each other for a few moments, when Dean's hand came up toward his face, running his fingers gently across Castiel's cheek.

Dean watched Cas, who closed his eyes as his fingers stroked his cheek. He looked so beautiful. His normally creamy, clear skin was wind bitten from the cold, his nose was tinted pink, the porch light made his hair glow, making it look like he had a halo.

Before he could register what he was doing, he cupped Cas's cheek, closing the gap between them, pressing his lips gently to Castiel's, careful not to irritate his busted lip. He felt Cas tense up for just a second, before he relaxed into Dean's touch, his lips pursing against Dean's.

It was just a simple, gentle kiss. Nothing heated about it, nothing desperate. Which surprised Dean. He figured that if he ever had the opportunity to kiss Cas, that he wouldn't be able to resist his violent urges. He found himself just wanting to stand there for hours, kissing the man.

The second his lips met Castiel's, internal fireworks went off. He felt alive. Cas tasted like blood and coffee and he just couldn't get enough.

To his dismay, Cas pulled away after a couple of seconds, his cheeks flushed.

"That was... that was nice"

Dean grinned, he was over the moon. Not only had he got to kiss Castiel, but Cas had kissed him back and enjoyed it. He felt the same excitement that he did the night he snuck into Cas's bedroom, and got to touch him.

"Mm, that was very nice" he agreed.

Cas blushed and looked down.

"Can I, uhm, can I call you Dean?"

"Of course. Give me your phone, I'll put my number in"

Castiel fished his phone from his pocket, handing it to Dean, who punched his number in, handing it back.

"Shoot me a text later"

"Of course, Dean"

Dean leaned in giving Cas one last quick kiss on his lips. "I look forward to hearing from you. I'll see you around, Cas." He winked, turning to walk down the walkway and head home.

Castiel remembered his promise to Jo, feeling a momentary pang of guilt. But Dean was different. He found himself unable to resist him. What Jo doesn't know can't hurt her, right?

oOo

Dean pretty much skipped home. He was closer to having Cas. He got to taste those lips. Those perfect, pretty, bloodied lips. He was excited. The thought of sucking the blood off his lips aroused him. He knew he should feel guilty for getting Cas hurt be he had to. He had no other choice. He would do it again if he had to. He would always be there to save Cas. To fix him.

He decided to stop at a 24 hour diner to grab some food for him and his brother. He finally got home, sighing in relief as he felt the warmth of the house filled him. He called down for Sam, who came running down the stairs.

"Hey Dean, where have you been? I got home from Gabe's like 2 hours ago."

Dean thrust the food into Sam's arms, kicking his boots off, and shrugging his jacket off.

"I was out with Castiel, now come on, let's eat before the food gets any colder than it already is."

Sam followed Dean into the living room, who plopped down on the couch, turning the TV on. Sam sat on the opposite side of the couch, rummaging through the bag of food, taking his salad out before handing Dean his burger and fries.

"Since when are you friends with Castiel?" Sam asked

"Why does it matter? I like him, he's cool."

"Dean, Castiel is a good guy. He's my best friend's brother. Please don't use him or fuck with him" Sam said pleadingly. He knew the games his brother liked to play. He knew Dean didn't care about anybody or their feelings.

"Language, Sammy. Cas is different. I like him. I wouldn't dream of hurting him." Dean said defensively.

"If you say so, Dean."

Sam felt uneasy. He normally ignored Dean's conquests. He knew better than to try to interfere. But Castiel was purely innocent. He didn't have a mean bone in his body and he couldn't help but to remember the anger in Dean's eyes when he was looking for Cas the previous week. He had a bad feeling about this whole thing.

oOo

**A/N:**

**Sorry this chapter is extremely short and I'm not entirely happy with it. I was distracted while I was writing it. Damn you, interesting television programming! I shake my fist at you, I SHAKE MY FIST!**

**Anyway, I promise the next one will be better. This was more of a filler. So try not to rip me a new one!**

**Love and review, friends! **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**

**Greetings, readers! I'd like to thank justreading444 for the review and to the guest who goes by the name Jackie as well. And you answer your question, Jackie, I was going to do a back story on Dean. :) and also I am always up for any ideas, so feel free to shoot them my way! :)**

**Okay, there will be violence and a bit of non-con nonsense in this chapter. So if that offends you or it's not your cup of tea, skip this chapter!**

**Chapter 8:**

*buzz*

Dean groaned, lazily looking for his buzzing phone, his eyes still half shut from the sleep he was just awoken from. When he finally found his phone, he unlocked it, his eyes squinting to adjust to the light. After his late night dinner with Sam, he decided to get some sleep. That is until his phone so rudely interrupted.

6:45 AM

**Hello, Dean. **

**-C**

Dean sat up, feeling that familiar warmth wash over him. He was pretty unimpressed about being up so early, but Castiel made it far worth his while.

**Hey Cas, what's up?**

**-D**

He sent the text message, taping his fingers impatiently on his leg waiting for a reply.

**I hope I didn't wake you. I just wanted to say thank you again for last night. I appreciate it. I owe you one.**

**-C**

**My pleasure. You can let me take you out tonight?**

**-D**

Dean hoped Castiel would take the bait. He needed an excuse to see that beautiful raven haired man again. He needed to touch him. He felt his skin crawl. And when about 15 minutes passed without a reply, Dean was about to throw his phone, trying to come up with another plan to corner Cas. Luckily, before that could happen, he felt his phone vibrate.

**I'd like that, Dean. **

**-C**

Dean grinned like a maniac, he was going to be able to see Cas. Tonight was the night. He was going to lay his mark on the object of his infatuation.

**Pick you up at 8.**

**-D**

oOo

The rest of the day went by with excitement and arousal on Dean's behalf, and anxiety and guilt on Castiel's part.

Cas couldn't help but to play back the rumors that Jo had fed him. He liked Dean. He felt safe with him when he knew he shouldn't. Jo was going to slaughter him when she found out he agreed to a date with the elusive Dean WInchester. Before Dean, he never let a boy kiss him before. He felt drawn to the dangerous man. He felt safe and protected and curious about him. He wouldn't object to being kissed again.

Dean walked up to Castiel's house, ringing the doorbell. He waited expectantly, as the door swung open, revealing an amused looking Gabriel.

"Hello, Dean-o. Here to sweep my older bro off his virgin feet?" He chimed teasingly, popping a red sucker into his mouth.

"Something like that" Dean muttered. Gabriel annoyed him. He wanted to punch him. But Sam was fond of him so he grinned and bared it for the sake of his little brother's friendship.

"Castiel, your late night lover has arrived!" Gabriel yelled obnoxiously up the stairs.

"Gabriel, shut your mouth!" A disgruntled Cas sneered at his brother as he ran down the stairs.

Dean bit his lip, eyes scanning up and down Cas's body. He looked God damn delicious. He was wearing a pair of black jeans, which happened to hug his thighs and accentuate his firm, perfect ass, a navy blue dress shirt which seemed to be tailor made for his slender, toned torso and a pair of smart black shoes. His hair was an organized mess and usual, and damn if Dean didn't wanna just strip him down and fuck him sensless against the wall.

As Castiel finally made his way downstairs, he grabbed his coat off the coat rack and slipped it on, shooting Dean a shy smile.

"Hello, Dean. You look nice." He said, cursing himself for sounding like such a girl.

Dean just grinned like an idiot, purposely dragging his eyes down Castiel's body, knowing it would make him blush.

"Mm, thank you, Cas. You look fucking incredible."

Castiel couldn't even meet Dean's gaze, he was trying desperately to get the color on his cheeks to return to normal.

"Gag!" Gabriel shouted, pretending to vomit.

"I don't see how my brother is friends with you" Dean deadpanned.

"Come on, let's go, Dean"

Dean just nodded, taking Cas's hand, leading him to his prized possession, his 67' Chevy Impala.

He opened the door for Cas, who obviously blushed again, before closing it and sliding into the drivers side, briefly reaching over to grab Cas's hand, bringing it up to his lips, leaving a lingering kiss on his knuckles.

"I'm glad you came out tonight, Cas."

"Me too, Dean."

oOo

A 15 minute drive later, they arrived at a restaurant. It wasn't so fancy that you had to wear a suit and tie to get in, but it was just fancy enough where you wouldn't feel over dressed for wearing a dress shirt and some nice pants.

After they were seated and placed their orders, they fell deep into conversation. At first it was awkward and Cas couldn't look him in the eye. But about 45 minutes into their meal, the conversation was effortless. Cas was only ever able to talk to Jo and his family with such ease.

"So, Cas, what do you plan on doing with your life when you graduate?" Dean asked, digging into the large slice of apple pie he ordered for dessert.

"I would like to be a language translator. There are so many different, beautiful languages in the world. I would love to learn more about them and help others who don't understand communicate"

"That's great, Cas. You're already incredibly smart, you'll have no problems reaching your goals."

"Thank you, Dean. What about you? Do you have any plans?"

Dean obviously didn't care about school or work. But he put the charm on for Cas.

"Yeah, I want to be an engineer."

"Wow, that's fantastic. What made you want to be an engineer?" Cas asked, obviously interested in Dean's answer.

"My grandfather was an engineer," Dean lied. Truth is, he had never even met his grandfather, let alone knew what he did for a living. "I looked up to him, he inspired me to become one."

"That is really sweet" Castiel basically cooed.

Most of the night was spent feeding Castiel lies about his life, his ambitions and his family.

And it was clearly working. Dean noticed the adoration in Castiel's eyes as he spoke. He had this one in the bag.

They talked for another hour or so, ordering various beverages just to have an excuse to stay and chat. Eventually, they decided to pack it in and call it a night, since the next day was a school day.

oOo

Dean pulled up infront of Castiel's house, killing the engine before getting out, sauntering over to the passenger side, opening the door for Cas.

"You're quite the gentleman, Dean WInchester." Cas smiled at him, stepping out.

"You make me wanna be one" Dean replied suavely.

Dean once again took Castiel's hand in his, walking him to his front door.

"I had a really nice time, Dean. Thank you for dinner." Cas smiled at Dean, nerves starting to build up in him.

"Thank you for letting me take you." Dean replied, stepping closer to Cas.

Castiel felt his cheeks go warm, "Goodnight, Dean." He almost whispered, watching Dean.

"Goodnight, Cas." Dean replied, closing the space between them, pressing his lips to Castiel's.

He felt Cas relax into the kiss, and he knew he should pull away, but the hunger he felt for the smaller man was too strong. He slid his tongue along Castiel's lower lip, letting a small moan escape his throat as he felt Cas open up for him. He felt his cock twitch the moment his tongue met Cas's. He pressed his body closer to Cas, wrapping his arm around his neck, pulling him tighter against him as his tongue massaged Cas's.

When he felt Cas try to end the kiss, something inside him blocked all rational thinking. He forced his lips against Cas's, tightening the grip on him when Cas tried to move away.

Cas finally broke his lips free, his face still just millimeters apart from Deans.

"Dean, I- I'm not ready to go any further than this yet." Cas said, his heart pounding hard.

Dean was working on auto pilot, pushing Cas against the door, pressing his body against Cas, who was trying to squirm away.

"Dean, please.." Cas pleaded.

Dean just eyed the man, the frightened look in his eyes only fueled Dean's desire. He pushed hia leg inbetween Castiel's thighs, forcing them apart as he leaned in, taking Castiel's bottom lip between his teeth, tugging at it roughly. Castiel winced, fear taking over, finally gathering the strength to shove Dean away.

"I said stop!" Castiel yelled, startling both Dean and himself. He never stood up for himself.

Dean just stood there dumbstruck, his cock still throbbing in between his legs, he barely had time to register what happened before Cas was inside his house, slamming the door in Dean's face.

"What the fuck?" Dean mumbled to himself. He didn't know what to do. His need for Castiel was only growing by the day. He quickly walked back to his car, driving away before he did something even more stupid. What the fuck was wrong with him? He should have just forced himself on Cas. But he couldn't. Cas meant too much. He fucking rejected him. He had never been rejected before. He was livid. He wanted to hit someone. He wanted to make someone hurt. He did what he could only do in a situation like this and go to a bar. He was going to find someone who looked like Cas, take them to a motel, fuck them violently, and leave.

oOo

The next day, Dean skipped his first 2 classes. He was in no mood for school. He couldn't shake the feeling of anger in his body. He succeeded in finding a Cas look-a-like the previous night, and fucked him raw. He didn't care. The look-a-like begged for him to stop. He cried. He bled. Dean didn't care. He pounded into the man, his eyes closed, his find focused on thoughts of Castiel.

He had tried texting Cas to explain himself, well, make up a lie to make Cas forgive him but he never received any replies.

He didn't know what to do with himself. The layers of his charming and confident persona were chipping away. What the fuck was Cas doing to him? He can't lose control now. He couldn't let people see the real him. He was a danger to not only them but himself if he broke. And slowly but surely, Cas was breaking him.

His anger and frustration only built up more when he entered his 3rd period class to see Michael, a cocky, flirty, pain in the ass sitting beside Castiel, in his seat.

He was about to demand that Michael move, when the teacher approached him.

"Dean, Castiel had requested a new seating partner. I don't know why, but he insisted. So could you please take your new seat beside Adam?"

Dean's mind went blank again, he felt like he was going to puke. He clenched his hands so tight that his nails dig into his palm, breaking his skin. He looked at Cas who refused to look back up at him. He was beside himself in anger.

"Mister Winchester, take your seat, please."

Dean absent mindedly took his seat as the lesson began, he felt sick. His eyes never left Castiel and Michael, who was disgustingly flirting with Cas.

"Hey, Castiel. Wanna see a movie sometime?" He heard Michael ask, he didn't hear Cas's reply, but when he saw Michael's hand reach up to run his fingers through Castiel's messy locks, he felt pure rage boil to the surface. He had spent the first 30 minutes of class touching an uncomfortable looking Cas. Kept touching his arm. Brushing his fingers down Cas's back. And now he was touching his hair. That beautiful head of soft, fluffy sex hair. A moment after, Michael asked to use the bathroom.

A couple of seconds later, Dean got up, grabbing his stuff, intending to follow Michael.

"Mister Winchester, take your seat. You haven't asked permission to leave." the teacher said, causing everybody's attention, including Castiel's, to be on Dean.

Dean didn't care. He couldn't hold in his rage any longer.

"Go fuck yourself." Dean spat at his now stunned looking teacher.

Gasps filled the classroom as Dean stormed out, heading in the direction of the bathroom.

oOo

Dean slammed the bathroom door open as Michael was pulling up his pants. He stormed over to him, slamming his body against the wall.

"What the fuck is your problem, WInchester?" Michael asked, utterly shocked at the unprovoked attack.

"Stay the fuck away from Castiel" Dean warned, his eyes wide and full or anger.

"Fuck you Winchester. Castiel is a fine piece of ass and I'll touch him if I want to" Michael spat back.

Dean didn't bother replying before wrapping his hand around Michael's throat, squeezing with force. Michael gasped for air, trying to push Dean away. Dean responded by raising his fist with his one free hand, slamming it into Michael's nose. Almost immediately his nose started pouring blood. Dean smiled a sadistic smile. Oooh what the sight of blood did to his cock. He punched Michael 2 more times, once again in the nose, another in the mouth. Dean licked his lips as blood spewed out of Michael's mouth. He pulled Michael forward by the throat, slamming him back once again, causing the back of Michael's head to slam against the hard concrete wall.

Michael winced, looking pleadingly at Dean.

"Dude, fuck. Stop. Fine, I won't touch Castiel!"

"Don't fucking talk unless I tell you to talk!" Dean demanded, his fist connecting with Michaels jaw.

"You're such a fucking slut aren't you, Michael. Just couldn't keep your hands of Cas. Well, I'll tell you what you little bitch. Castiel is mine. He is fucking mine. You're so desperate for cock, it's disgusting" Dean growled, spitting in Michael's face.

"Get on your fucking knees, slut" He demanded.

"Wh-what?!" Michael asked, his eyes wide.

Dean punched him hard in the ribs, and once more in the stomach causing the injured man to double over in pain.

"I said, get the fuck on your knees. Don't make me ask you again." Dean yelled.

When Michael still didn't do as he was told, Dean pulled a small hunting knife from his pocket, forcing it against Michael's throat. He pressed the blade roughly against his skin, causing a small pool of blood to for around the knife.

"Get. on. your knees" He said sternly.

Michael gulped, his eyes filled with terror and tears. He finally nodded and sunk down to his knees.

Dean looked down at the sight below him, a sick smile playing on his lips at the sight of the beaten man below him. He reached down to his jeans, unbuttoning them, slipping them down along with his boxers.

He grabbed Michael's hair, forcing his head up to look at him.

"You were so horny, weren't you? Well, you little fucking piece of shit. Here you go. Suck my cock."

Tears started falling down Michael's cheeks as he looked up at Dean.

"Dean.. I- I'm sorry man. Don't do this, I'll stay away from Cas! I promise!" He sobbed.

"I said don't fucking talk to me unless I ask you to and never, ever fucking call him Cas again. Only I can call him Cas!" Dean growled, leaning down slightly before punching Michael in the mouth again, causing blood to pour from his mouth.

"Now, you little bitch, suck my cock before I fucking slit your throat!"

Michael sobbed, his tears mixing with his blood as he leaned forward, taking Dean into his mouth.

Dean groaned, feeling the warm, wet head surround his aching erection. Michael started bobbing his head unenthisiastically, and when Dean got tired of the lack of stimulation he brought his knife down forcing it into the flesh of Michael's shoulder. Michael pulled his mouth off of Dean, attempting to scream, not having the chance before Dean's hand covered his mouth.

"I will not hesitate to kill you. You shut your dirty mouth and suck my sick like the whore you are. Don't go half ass on me either. If I don't come in the next 3 minutes I will end you" Deam warned, earning a nod from Michael.

Dean removed his hand from Michael's mouth, wiping the blood that rubbed off on his hand onto his black t-shirt.

Michael took Dean back into his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut to try to shut out what was happening, as he hollowed his cheeks, sucking Dean's cock as hard as he could. Dean let out a primal moan, bucking his hips forward, fucking Michael's mouth. He felt the tip of his cock hit the back of Micheal's throat, causing him to gag. Dean ignored the gagging, shoving himself further down the other man's throat. It didn't take long after that before he felt his orgasm starting to build.

"Mmm, oh, fuck yeah. You fucking dirty slut. Oh- Oh God. You better fucking swallow this..." he groaned, throwing his head back, his come shooting down Michael's throat, who held back gags the entire time. Dean milked out his orgasm until his cock went soft in Michael's throat. He tucked himself back in, pulling his pants back up.

"Tell me how much you liked my cock, bitch."

Michael was downright sobbing now, snot and blood and saliva running down his face.

"I- I- Oh, God." He choked, "I really liked your cock, Dean."

Dean grinned triumphantly, kneeling down in front of a beaten and used Michael. He grabbed Michael's hair, forcing him to meet the now eerily calm and impassive look on Dean's face.

"You're to never speak to Castiel again. And if you tell anyone, _ANYONE_, that I did this to you, I will find you, and I will slaughter you. Do you understand?"

"Yes. I pr-promise, Dean." Michael sobbed.

"Good boy." Dean smiled almost affectionately, ruffling Michael's hair before getting up, exiting the bathroom, leaving Michael to curl up in a ball on the bathroom floor and cry.

oOo

**A/N: Oh Lordy, I didn't even expect to write that scene o.o **

**Sorry if it was a lil graphic. I also suck at writing smut so I apologize, haha.**

**Love and review pals!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **

**I just can't seem to get past this writers block o.o It might be a while before I update after this because I honestly don't know how I could make this story play out while keeping you guys happy. I just keep picturing it ending badly. No happy ending and all that jazz. Anyhow, I also want to apologize if my last chapter was difficult to read. I realize after I posted how dark it was. **

**Anyhow, thank you to lesipiratecat and justreading444 for the reviews. This chapter will be super short, just for the record.**

**Chapter 9:**

After assaulting Michael in the bathroom, Dean took it upon himself to skip school. He felt sick. Sick with power. Sick on Cas. He snapped. Cas was upset with him. He beat the shit out of an innocent guy. He forced himself on him, raped his mouth. He left him sobbing in a corner covered in blood with the taste of Dean in his mouth. He threatened his life. And yet, he didn't feel guilty. He had it coming, trying to make an advance on Cas, right?

Who fucking cares.

Cas isn't talking to Dean and that's all that matters right now. The world could burst into flames and he wouldn't give a shit as long as Cas was still upset with him.

He drove around town for a good hour or so before deciding to go home. When he got into the warmth of the apartment, he grabbed a beer and plopped down on the couch with a sigh.

He turned on the television to try to drown out his thoughts of Cas but his attempts were fruitless.

He dug his phone out of his pants, staring at it. It was 4:30 and school was done for the day. Sam had texted him earlier telling him that he was going to Kevin's place with Gabriel after school, and not to worry about dinner. So, he was alone for the evening. Awesome. More of a reason to think about Castiel.

He drew a deep breath, deciding on trying to call Cas. He slumped back into the couch, dialing Cas's number. He gingerly put the phone to his ear, not expecting an answer.

"Dean" a gravelly voice answered flatly.

Dean immediately sat up, clearing his throat.

"Uh, hey, Cas. I was hoping I could talk to you."

"You're talking to me now."

Dean was surprised at Cas's reply. He clearly wasn't in the mood for Dean's shit.

"Uh, yeah. Hey, man, about the other night.."

Cas cut him off before he could finish, sighing deeply.

"It's fine, Dean." He replied simply.

"It is?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't mean to force myself on you. I just like you. And you looked so damn good, and- "

Cas cut him off again, his voice quiet.

"You- you like me?"

"Yeah, Cas, I do."

It was quiet for a moment, and Dean rolled his eyes hoping he didn't do something to fuck things up yet again.

"Could we talk in person?" Cas finally asked, sounding nervous.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course we can" Dean said a little to enthusiastically.

"Uhm, okay. Okay. Well, my parents are on a business trip and Gabe is out with your brother. You could come here if you prefer."

"Yeah, sure. I'll be there in 15.:

"Okay, I'll see you shortly, Dean."

"Yeah, okay. See you soon, Cas."

And with that, the line went dead. Dean sat still for a minute to take in the strange conversation he just had. He was certain Cas would never want to speak to him again. He remembers the terror in Cas's eyes when he forced himself on him. He was going to need to pull out his empathy card to get with Cas's good graces again.

oOo

On the other side of the phone, Cas felt like he was going to have a panic attack. Dean had forced himself on him. He scared him. So why was he so willing to let him in again? What if Dean lost control again? He had mixed feelings on that. On the one hand, he was scared. He had never been intimate with someone before, and Dean was so dominant. He had the power to do whatever he wanted to his untouched, virginal body. But on the other hand, the idea of being dominated excited him. Maybe he was just too worked up from the hormones running through his body. Dean, he knew, was dangerous. But he had told Cas he liked him. Dean friggen Winchester, charmer extraordinaire, , had told Cas he liked him.

_"Jo is going to have your head,"_ he thought to himself, _"smarten the fuck up, Novak"_

He was deep in thought when he heard the unmistakable roar of Dean's beloved Impala.

Only a moment later, he jumped at the doorbell ringing.

"Keep it together, Castiel" he mumbled to himself, getting up and striding over to the door. He took a deep breath, opening it.

oOo

When the door opened, Dean sucked in a breath. Castiel, as usual, looked breathtaking. Cas gave Dean a small nod, stepping aside to let Dean in.

Dean stepped in, kicking his boots off as Cas closed the door, leading him to the living room.

He sat down on the comfortable couch, looking up and Cas who bit his lip nervously, before slowly sitting on the oposite end of the couch.

"Thanks for coming" Cas said, softspokenly.

"Any time, Cas. I was wondering if you'd ever talk to me again." Dean replied, watching Castiel with intent.

"I apologize for acting in the way I did, Dean. I had not expected for...that...to happen. I was frightened" Cas said, tremulous.

Dean inhaled, scooting closer to Cas, who seemed to tense the closer he got. He turned his body to face Cas, his knees touching Castiel's. He rested his hand gently on Cas's shoulder. Cas had an uncertainty in his eyes.

Dean mustered up the most sympathetic look he could.

"Cas. Don't apologize. I shouldn't have forced myself on you. Just, man. Something about you. You're so fucking stunning. I find it hard to control myself around you" Dean said huskily. He could feel the hunger building inside him again. The hunger to taste Cas. To touch his soft skin.

Cas felt his heart beat increase. What was he doing? It wasn't hard to notice the hunger in Dean's eyes.

"I'm afraid you have me lost. Dean, you are certainly attractive and I should be over the moon that you had found an interest in me. But, I can't help but to wonder, why? I mean, you're you. And uhm, well, I'm me..." he said, looking down, feeling embarrassed.

Dean let out a small chuckle, slipping his hand from Cas's shoulder to rest 2 fingers under his chin, gently pushing his face up to look at him.

"Cas, I can't explain it. You're different. I've had my eye on you since the moment you locked those fucking beautiful eyes on mine. I have you under my skin. You're smart and sexy and I can't resist you. Castiel Novak, you're driving me crazy."

Castiel stared at Dean with wide eyes. He was aware of Dean's face inching closer. He opened his mouth to say something, closing it abruptly when he realized he was speechless. Dean's hand slipped from his chin to cup his cheek, he was close. Their noses were touching and he was vaguely aware that they were sharing breaths. Dean was warm. He watched as Dean's tongue darted out to lick his own lips, he couldn't help but stare at the now moist, plump lips of Dean.

"Cas.." Dean breathed, "Cas, I want to kiss you. I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself. You need to pull away. Because I can't"

_"Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. Pull away, this is a bad idea."_ Cas's mind warned him. But his body and his heart refused to listen. He didn't know what came over him. He had never in his life been this excited, felt so confident.

"Kiss me, Dean" he replied, his voice smoky.

oOo

**A/N: Told ya, a short chapter. There will be a lot of internal struggle for Cas when it comes to Dean. Soon I'll probably give a little insight as to why Dean is the way he is. I'll try hard to update soon. My mind is really blank on this one, friends. I whole heartedly want to continue this story, it just might take me a bit to get there.**

**Writers block is not a good friend of mine, that's for sure.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy regardless.**

**Love and review, friends!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **

**Hey pals! This is going to be probably another short chapter, but I think you've come to expect that by now, haha. We will be taking a peek into Dean's dark past, and this chapter will be a bit disturbing so if you don't feel comfortable with that, skip ahead. Also thank you to the ever awesome LyricReilly for the review! :)**

**Chapter 10:**

**August 1999**

"Goodnight, baby" Dean's mother, Mary, said sweetly before laying a sweet kiss upon his forehead.

"I don't wanna go to sleep, mommy" an obviously over tired Dean whined.

"Come on, sweetheart. You have a big day tomorrow. Me and daddy are going to take you to the beach, remember?"

"And Sammy too?"

"Of course, honey."

"Wanna say night night to daddy" Dean said, pouting.

"Daddy is at work, baby. I promise when you wake up he'll be home, and you can smother him with all the hugs and kisses you wish" Mary smiled, stroking his hair gently.

"Okay mommy."

"I love you, baby. Mommy will see you in the morning."

"Okay mommy. Love you" Dean mumbled sleepily, closing his eyes.

Mary smiled to herself, turning Dean's night light on before laying a kiss into Dean's hair, standing up making sure to leave his door open a crack before she headed to bed herself. John, Sam and Dean's dad was due home at midnight. It was only 8, but Mary wanted to be well rested for their family day the next day.

Dean shot up after hearing a loud scream. He rubbed his sleepy eyes and looked around his room.

"Mommy?" he called out. He heard a smash, the sound of something shattering, trying to call for his mom again.

"Mommy?!"

Mary always showed up when he called her, but all he could hear is crying and the occaisonal grunt of pain.

Dean got out of his bed, taking his favorite teddy bear with him. He tiptoed down the hall, opening his parent's bedroom door.

"Mommy?" he said quietly.

"Dean! Baby! Go get Sammy and get out of the house!" She said frantically.

"Mommy your bleeding!" He said, shocked. There was blood coming from her nose, and three bright red patches of red decorating her white nightgown. She was laying on the bed, holding one of the bleeding wounds on her stomach. Standing above her was a large, scary looking man dressed all in black. He was holding one of his mommy's kitchen knives in his hand.

"You hurt my mommy!" Dean yelled, running toward the man, punching his legs.

"Dean no!" Mary yelled out.

"Get off of me you stupid little shit!" The man yelled, kicking Dean in the stomach, sending him sliding across the room.

"DEAN!" Mary yelled, now crying hysterically.

Dean started crying, holding on to his stomach. The man walked over to Dean, grabbing him by the collar of his cowboy pajamas, pulling him up. Dean whimpered, trying in all his might to wiggle free.

"Wanna see mommy?" The man asked, staring manically at Dean.

Dean nodded frantically, sobbing. The man picked Dean up, throwing him on the bed with his bloodied mother.

"Mommy!" he cried, crawling over to her. He wrapped his little arms around her neck, crying.

"It's okay mommy, I'll save you! Just like Batman!" Dean was going through a superhero phase, he was convinced the majority of the time that he was Batman, often "saving the day" by bringing his crying baby brother his soother, or picking something up off the floor that his parents dropped.

"Sorry kid, nobody is saving mommy tonight" the scary man said, his voice gruff.

"NO!" he screamed as the knife plunged into his mother's stomach a fourth time. Only the man didn't stop there, he continued plunging the knife in and out of his mother's stomach, until her nightgown was completely stained red, her body still.

The scary man smiled down at Dean, who was shaking his Mary's arm.

"Bath time, little man!" He exclaimed a little too enthusiastically.

"Don't touch my mommy!" Dean yelled, his face covered in his mom's blood, his tears and his snot. He sat and watched as the man picked Mary up, bringing her into the ensuite bathroom, setting her in the bathtub before putting the plug in. Dean saw him take the knife, and cut some random spots on his mother's body, which turned out to be her wrists, her carotid artery, and her femoral artery with the intentions of bleeding her out.

He returned the the bedroom, pulling a roll of tape out of the bag he brought with him, binding Dean's hands and feet, picking him up and placing him in the bathtub along with Mary. The man smiled to himself, looking at a inconsolable Dean.

"I want my mommy!" He cried

"Mommy is dead, little man. And this was fun but I got to go. But I'll be back for you" the man taunted, before leaving Dean to sit in the tub with his dead mother, her blood slowly starting to fill the tub.

oOo

John pulled his '67 Chevy Impala into the driveway of the home he shared with his family. It had been a long day, but he was excited to snuggle into bed next to his wife. They had been promising Dean all week that they would take him to the beach, and he knew Dean was over the moon. He smiled thinking about Dean running into their room in the morning, waking them up by jumping on the bed, asking them if it was time to go yet.

He killed the engine and headed to the house, kicking his boots off as he stepped in, closing the door quietly. He furrowed his brow as he heard the loud shrill of Sam's cries. It wasn't unlike Sam to wake up in the middle of the night for a cuddle or a bottle, but normally he would hear Mary's soft voice singing to him to calm him down. He walked up the stairs, taking note of Dean's open door, and the light on in his own bedroom.

"strange" he thought to himself, walking into Sam's room. Sam was flailing is arms around, crying. John leaned over the crib, picking him up.

"What's wrong, buddy?" John said softly. "It's okay, daddy's here"

He rocked baby Sam back to sleep, carefully placing him back in his crib.

He sighed to himself, peaking into Dean's room after leaving Sam's.

He felt his heart stop when Dean wasn't in his bed, but rationalized with himself, telling himself that Dean probably just had a nightmare and went to crawl into bed with his wife.

He padded down the hall to his room, opening the door.

"Hey, Mary? I'm home, baby" He said, his breath catching in his throat when he took in the scene before him. He felt panic bubble in his chest as he stared at the blood soaked sheets of his bed, taking note of Dean's favorite teddy bear discarded in the corner.

"Oh, God! Mary! Dean!" He called out frantically.

"Daddy! Daddy!" He heard Dean's little voice call out from the bathroom. He quickly ran to the bathroom, opening the door with force. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw.

"Dean! Mary!" He yelled, rushing over to the bathtub. Mary's skin was white, her lips forming a blue tinge to them. On the opposite side of the bathtub was Dean, who's face was puffy and swollen from his non stop crying. John checked Mary's pulse though he knew it was useless. He turned his attention to Dean, who was waist deep in his mother's blood. John pulled him out, fighting the urge to vomit. He noticed Dean's hands and feet were bound, and he let out a cry.

"Oh, Dean" he sobbed, holding Dean close.

"Daddy, mommy won't wake up!" Dean said, hiccuping.

John just cried harder, reaching onto the counter, grabbing a pair of scissors, cutting the tape that bound Dean, before standing up on wobbly legs, taking Dean away from the bathroom.

"No! Daddy, we have to get mommy!" Dean protested.

"Mommy is gone, Dean" John said, tears streaming down his cheeks. He went into Sam's room, taking him from the crib, holding Dean in one arm and Sam in the other. When he brought them downstairs, he called 911 and took them to wait outside. "I want mommy" Dean sobbed. He didn't know that was the last time he would ever see his mother. He was only 4 at the time.

oOo

The following years after his mother's brutal murder were rough. The murderer was never found, and while John tried his hardest to keep it together for the sake of his boys, his mental state was slowly deteriorating.

Dean on the other hand suffered from terrible night terrors. He was so young when it happened, but he could remember it vividly. It was such an extreme act of violence, something straight out of a horror movie. By the time he was 8, he simply chose to shut the memory out. John was only home 2 or 3 times out of the week, and he had the roll of making sure his brother was okay. Dean used to be a sweet, caring young boy. He loved everything and everyone. He was full of wonder and curiosity but these days he was just a shell of his former self. He found himself feeling hatred for his father. He constantly got in trouble in school. He always felt angry. The only person he never lost his temper with was Sam. Sam was innocent and pure and as far as Dean was concerned, Sam was his. His responsibility. He wished he could be Sam's dad instead of John.

Dean was 9 when he got into his first fight. It was at the playground. John had been absent for 3 days and he decided to take a 5 year old Sam to the park to have some fun. He sat on the grass and watched as Sam happily ran around, eagerly sliding down the slide and climbing on anything he could get his hands on. Dean wished he felt the urge to play. He was only 9. He should be running around with Sam, playing with the other kids his age who were running around playing tag. But truth be told, he didn't have an desire. He felt disgusted at the kids his age. He leaned back on his hands, watching Sam like a hawk when a kid, probably around 10, approached him.

"Hi, my name is Tyler. Want to play tag with us?" He asked Dean.

"No." Dean said simply.

"Are you sure? You look lonely"

"I don't want friends" He replied impassively.

Before the boy could reply, another boy ran up to them. He looked a little older, probably around 12, and if Dean had to guess, he would say he was Tyler's older brother.

"He doesn't wanna play" Tyler told his brother.

"Why? Are you scared?" the older boy mocked.

Dean ignored him, not bothering to look at him, still watching Sam.

"You're weird" the older boy continued.

"Go away" Dean said simply.

"No. Make me. You chicken."

Something in Dean snapped as he rose to his feet and shoved the other boy, who shoved Dean back. Dean lost all rational thinking after than and tackled the other boy to the ground, throwing uncoordinated punches at the boy's face.

"Hey, get off of him you bully!" Tyler yelled, trying to pull Dean off. When Dean didn't budge, he felt a stronger pair of hands pull him off, and onto his feet.

"Get the hell off my son you monster!" A woman yelled, pulling her son up and into her arms.

"Sammy, let's go!" Dean yelled to his brother, who ran over to him.

"But I was having fun, Dean!" Sam whined.

"Where is your mother, young man! I would like to have a word with her!" the other boys mother demanded at Dean.

Dean just shrugged and took Sam's hand.

"My mother is dead." He said simply, starting to walk off with Sam.

As they were walking home, a small smile played on his lips. He felt a release he hadn't felt in years. It made him feel powerful. It made him feel good.

oOo

After that first fight, Dean made it his mission to start a fight whenever he had the chance. It got so bad that he ended up getting expelled from his elementary school. When the school had contacted John and failed to get a hold of him, they had called in a social worker.

Dean knew enough about social workers to know that it wasn't good. If they knew about John they would take him and Sam away. They might be separated into different homes.

That is when he found out how easy it was to manipulate the people around him. When the social worker came by he managed to convince her that his dad was simply out of town for the day, and was due to come home that night. He fed her some lies about how big of a help his dad has been in his healing from his mother's death, and told her that he only got into fights because the other kids made fun of him for not having a mom. He even made a point to force himself to cry, telling her that he would be lost without his dad and brother. She took sympathy on him, and left him to take care of Sam.

oOo

Dean was 13 when he discovered his sexuality. More importantly, he was 13 when he discovered the arousal that inflicting pain on others caused. It was the day he lost his virginity. For a 13 year old, he was already popular with the girls. He knew from watching movies that you had to be nice to a girl to get them to like you. There was a 15 year old girl in his neighborhood, Rachael, who he wanted to "date". He didn't know much about relationships, but he knew he liked kissing her and he knew he didn't want any other boy to kiss her. They had been seeing eachother for a couple of months, always meeting up to makeout in the woods or the local park or wherever they could.

Then one day that changed. She told Dean she wanted to try to have sex. Dean, being a hormonal teenaged boy had no objections, but when they tried to get intimate, nothing happened. Dean couldn't get hard. She was a virgin also, so she warned Dean not to hurt her. Dean had seen porn before, and when he couldn't get hard from her touches, he tried to finger her. He went a little too rough and she cried out in pain, and when that happened, Dean's cock gave an interesting twitch. He repeated the motion and he felt himself getting hard. It wasn't long before he finally threw his virginity away, not caring that he was going too fast for the virginal girl. He found himself lost in the pleasure, and when she told him to pull out before he came, he did, and when he saw the blood on his cock from her broken hymen he came hard.

It was that moment when he knew he liked to inflict pain. It was nice. It made him feel sooo good. He liked to watch people bleed. He assumed his sick obsession with blood had to do with this mother's bloody death but he couldn't bring himself to care. It made him feel good and that's all that mattered.

oOo

When Sam was 12 and Dean was 16, Sam had tried convincing Dean to see a therapist. Dean had confided in Sam telling him he didn't feel anything. He just didn't give a shit about anything or anybody. A few months previous, him and Sam were walking to a diner to get some food when a drunk person stepped in front of a bus, killing him instantly, and since Sam and Dean were standing on the curb, waiting to cross the street, his blood had splattered all over them. He could hear Sam screaming along with the other passer-bys the witnessed the accident. But Dean, he just stood there. He looked down at his now blood speckled hands and simply wiped them on his pants. Sam hand clung on to him, crying his eyes out, and Dean just stood there. Not hugging Sam back. Not backing away from the curb. Not freaking out. He just stood there, an emotionless expression gracing his face. It was then when he knew he didn't feel what normal people should be feeling. The accident had fascinated him. He found himself wondering what the other man's remains looked like. He knew it was sick, but he didn't feel sick by thinking it.

After much begging Dean decided to try his luck with a therapist. After a long, pointless conversation, she told him his behavior was not typical. She told him that it raised a lot of red flags and that he might benefit from being placed into a home for mentally troubled youth.

When he returned home that day, he felt annoyed. Who did that bitch think she was? There was no way he was going to be sent to a home. He needed to watch out for Sammy.

Later that day he and Sam headed to the library. While Sam was off reading some books, Dean had searched the internet on how to act normal. If he felt this way inside, he couldn't let it show. He needed to put up a front. And that is when his charming persona was born. He got a bunch of helpful tips online on how to act, and act he did. From that day on nobody questioned his personality or demeanor. The only person who could see through it was Sam, who chose not to say anything.

oOo

The day he turned 18, John had come home drunk off his ass. He came in and started yelling at Sam about something, and Dean felt an urge to go into the kitchen, grab a knife, and stab his father to death. He knew he couldn't stay there anymore. He went upstairs and packed himself a bag of belongings, sauntering off to Sam's room to do the same. He snuck into his father's room and dug into John's alcohol money stash. There was 456 dollars in there, and Dean pocketed it.

When John stumbled upstairs and passed out, Dean threw a bag to Sam, picking up the Impala's keys.

"Get your coat on, we're getting out of here." Dead said impassively.

Sam knew better than to question him, so he just grabbed his jacket and nodded.

"Where are we going?" He asked.

"Away. Far away" Dean replied, jotting a quick note down for his dad, leaving it on the dinner table.

"Let's go"

When John woke up he stumbled downstairs and into the kitchen to grab a beer. He eyed the note on the table, reading it before crumpling it up and whipping it against the wall.

**Dad.**

**We're leaving. And we're not coming back.**

**Sam doesn't deserve your shit. Don't come looking for us.**

**I'll take care of him.**

**If you look for us, I'll tell the cops how you raised us and you can sit in jail for child endagerment and neglect.**

**Bye.**

**Dean and Sam.**

oOo

**A/N:**

**Ok so that was just a little peek into Dean's terrible past. It could have been better written but hey.**

**Anyway, reviews make for a happy writer so don't be shy! **

**:)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:**

**I'm losing a bit of interest in this story, so I'm not sure how much longer I'll continue with it. But I won't abandon it, I'll just have to find a way to connect all the dots and come up with a suitable ending. Also I'd like to thank guest reviewer Jackie for the ideas. You have helped me with some of my writers block and I can't be more thankful! :) **

**Anyway, a new chapter for you, friends!**

**Chapter 11:**

_Castiel stared at Dean with wide eyes. He was aware of Dean's face inching closer. He opened his mouth to say something, closing it abruptly when he realized he was speechless. Dean's hand slipped from his chin to cup his cheek, he was close. Their noses were touching and he was vaguely aware that they were sharing breaths. Dean was warm. He watched as Dean's tongue darted out to lick his own lips, he couldn't help but stare at the now moist, plump lips of Dean._

_"Cas.." Dean breathed, "Cas, I want to kiss you. I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself. You need to pull away. Because I can't"_

_"Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. Pull away, this is a bad idea." Cas's mind warned him. But his body and his heart refused to listen. He didn't know what came over him. He had never in his life been this excited, felt so confident._

_"Kiss me, Dean" he replied, his voice smoky._

oOo

Dean closed the gap between them, pressing his lips against Castiel's. He felt Cas tense for a moment, but when Dean's hand found Cas's back, rubbing soothingly, he relaxed into the kiss.

Dean snaked the one hand on Cas's cheek to the back of his neck, deepening the kiss. He parted his lips slightly, poking his tongue out to run along Cas's bottom lip. To his surprise, Cas invited him in, and even more shockingly, Cas's tongue fought his for dominance. Dean sucked Cas's tongue into his mouth, rubbing his tongue eagerly against Cas's.

The moment his tongue met Cas's, he knew he was done for. He loved the taste of Cas. He was perfect and so fucking hot.

Dean brought his hand to Cas's shoulder, gently pushing him back on the couch, detaching himself from Castiel's lips, parting the smaller man's legs, laying himself ontop of him. Cas stared at the man laying in between his legs. He kept telling himself to stop Dean. He could see the pure hunger in Dean's eyes and if any of the rumors he heard from Jo were true, he knew Dean wouldn't stop and there was a chance he could get hurt. He was sexually inexperienced but Dean made him feel worshiped. The uncertainty of what Dean could do to him excited him. He was totally at Dean's mercy. It was terrifying and so hot.

Dean lined their groins up, grinding down onto Cas. Cas let out a small gasp, biting back a moan. Dean just smiled wickedly at him, his pupils lust blown. He leaned down, licking a stripe up Castiel's neck, biting into the flesh. Cas winced in pain, a wave of confusion flowing through his body as he felt himself grow harder at the pain.

Dean worked his way up, running the tip of his tongue in the shell of Cas's ear, causing him to shiver.

"Mm, you're so hot Cas." Dean whispered huskily in his ear. Cas bit down on his lip. He was so screwed. Dean grabbed Cas's thigh, forcing his leg up to wrap around Dean's waist, grinding his crotch against Cas's, yet again.

"You got me so hard, baby. You're so fucking sexy. Want you so bad" Dean purred, nipping at his earlobe. Cas shuddered. His thoughts were in overdrive. It was all quite overwhelming. Before Dean, he never felt such strong sexual urges. He would jerk off every once in a while but he never felt the need to pleasure himself. Sex and all things sex related made him uncomfortable. He could feel his erection strain in his jeans. He didn't know what to do with himself. He didn't want to be used and tossed aside by Dean, but he was desperate for more friction, he was painfully hard, it was too much for him.

"Dean..." Cas breathed, feeling closer to the edge, "I-I think we should..mmm..I think we should stop"

Castiel's heart skipped a beat when Dean stopped his movements abruptly. He was shocked when he felt Dean grab a handful of his hair, tugging harshly, causing another jolt of excitement in his cock. What the fuck was wrong with him? Dean looked down at him, his face unreadable. He looked dangerous. Cas's heart pounded in his chest. Dean studied his face for a moment before ,yanking on his hair causing his head to be tilted back, and his throat to be exposed. He leaned his head down, running his tongue up his Adam's apple, before sucking the skin into his mouth. He ground his hips down, circling them, and Cas knew he was close. The friction was too much. Dean released the skin in his mouth.

"Such a fucking tease, Cas. Like getting me all hard and worked up? This isn't up to you, baby. You made your choice. Not stopping til you come" Dean growled into his skin, before sinking his teeth down onto his throat. It wasn't just a small love bite, it was harsh and angry and it broke his skin. Cas let out a cry of pain, coming on the spot, his boxers filling with his release. He felt Dean suck at the skin, before Dean sat up on him, his lips stained with blood. He smiled a manic smile, before reaching down, popping the button on his jeans, unzipping them, pulling his flushed cock out. Cas stared up at him, his eyes filled with tears from the pain and the force of his orgasm, watching with fascination as Dean spit into his hand, slowly starting to fist his own cock.

"Mm, look at you, you slut. Coming in your pants for me." He moaned out. Cas didn't respond, just absent mindedly nodded as he watched Dean twist his hand around his large cock, increasing his pace. He looked beautiful, his eyes filled with pure lust, lust for Cas.

"Oh, God. Mmm, Cas. You know I jerk off thinking of you? Ugh, mm. Imagine what those pretty little lips would look like wrapped around my cock. Fuck. Ugh. Cas..." Dean cried out, his head thrown back, eyes screwed shut as he came hard, long, creamy white stripes of his release covering Cas's t-shirt, some hitting his chin. To say he was shocked was an understatement. Dean tucked himself back into his jeans, reaching his hand down, bringing his finger through a pool of his come. He brought his finger up to Cas's lips, watching as Cas's eyes went wide.

"Lick it" Dean demanded. He knew he didn't have a say in the matter. Dean looked frightening. He gulped, nervously grabbing Dean's hand, closing his lips around the come covered digit. It tasted bitter and salty, but he swallowed it down, sucking any traces of come clean off of Dean's finger.

Dean smiled wickedly, pulling his finger out of Cas's mouth, leaning down so their faces were millimeters apart, darting his tongue out, flicking it against Cas's lips.

"Mm, love tasting myself on you." He purred before climbing off of Cas, standing up.

Cas awkwardly sat up, wiping the cooling come off of his chin.

"I gotta go. But thanks for the fun, baby." Dean winked. Cas just looked down. He had just been used. And now Dean was leaving.

"Oh, and Cas," Dean said as an afterthought. Cas looked up at Dean who had a dark expression on his face, causing a shiver to run down his spine. "You're mine now. I better not see you with anybody else, no hugging, no kissing, you hear me?"

Cas stared in shock, but he nodded.

"I- uhm, okay" He muttered.

Dean grinned, leaning down to press a kiss to Cas's hair. His personality going from dominant and dangerous to affectionate and sweet. The sudden change made Cas's head spin.

"Text you later, baby" he mumbled into his hair, before standing up, pulling his boots on, and leaving.

Cas watched as the door shut behind him. What the fuck just happened? He felt so used. So dirty. So hungry for more. He knew he should stay away. But how could he? Dean had said he was his. And he just agreed like some eager whore. Dean left him feeling conflicted. He didn't want this. But at the same time, he wanted it more than anything. He was so fucked.

oOo

**A/N:**

**Super super short chapter today. Sorry about that. I'll try to make the next one a bit longer. I'm admittedly hung over and tired haha so just wanted to keep it short and sweet. Well, short and dirty but still.**

**Let me know what you think, reviews are always appreciated :')**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:**

**Howdy, partners! I come bearing a chapter! I am trying to find a reliable Beta reader as I am really stuck atm with this fic. But I appreciate the follows and favorites and I shall continue to deliver chapters for you lovely folk. And also, thank you Valice for the review! :)**

**Chapter 12:**

After Dean had left, Castiel simply sat on the couch for a good hour or so trying to figure out what had just happened. He was sore, his shirt was still covered in Dean's come, and he was feeling conflicted. Dean had hurt him. On purpose. He had told Dean that they should stop but he wouldn't. He was bad news, he knew this. Could the rumors of him being violent be true? He certainly did nothing to prove otherwise. And yet, he found himself wanting Dean's body on his again. He had never felt so sexual and so naughty before, Dean opened his eyes to a brand new world. A world of feeling, a world of lust and wanting, but just because Dean said that he wasn't allowed to hug or kiss or touch anybody else, did the same rules apply to Dean? Was Dean his? Pfft. Probably not. Dean had a massive sexual appetite that surely an inexperienced little nerdy virgin such as himself couldn't feed. He suddenly felt very embarrassed. He had come in his pants like a 14 year old being touched for the first time. Dean was so sure of himself and Cas was just a joke. A little over excited virgin. What the fuck was he thinking, getting himself into this mess?

Cas just groaned to himself, forcing himself off the couch, wincing at the uncomfortable feeling of drying come in his boxers. He traveled upstairs and headed to the bathroom where he stripped his come soaked clothing off to take a shower.

The hot water felt nice on his skin, he felt so dirty, and desperately needed the shower. He washed up, and stood under the stream of warm water unti it went cool. When he was finished he turned the water off, and stepped out, looking in the mirror. He gasped when he spotted the angry looking, reddened, and tender bite mark on his throat. It was already starting to bruise, and Dean's teeth marks were clearly visible. He knew it hurt when it happened, but it looked so much worse in person. How was he going to explain this to his family? To his friends at school?

He was truly, 100% fucked.

oOo

Dean, on the other hand, was feeling very sure of himself. He had Cas right where he wanted him. It took everything in his power not to rip Castiel's pants off and force himself into that untouched little hole of his. Kissing Cas, touching him, making him come undone, was far more satisfying than he could have ever dreamed. He thought back to the night when he snuck into Cas's room, when he first touched him. The thought made him wanna go back and defile the virgin all over again. Cas was so innocent, so pure. Dean wanted nothing more than to dirty him up, it was all he could think about. Usually with his sexual conquests, he'd get off and leave the other guy or girl high and dry, not caring if they received any pleasure, and then simply toss them to the side and act as if they don't exist. That's what confused him. He should just ignore Cas now. He got what he wanted, he got himself off and covered Cas in his come, the sight was hot, he had marked Cas, and got a sexually awkward virgin to writhe and moan beneath him. He should be done. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am. But he wanted more. He wanted to taste Castiel. He wanted to know what those big blues of his looked like staring up at him with his cock in that perfect mouth. He wanted Cas at his disposal, to touch and kiss and lick and taste whenever he wanted. The thought of anybody else with Cas made him sick. If he ever caught Cas with another guy, he would make what he did to Michael look like a scraped knee. He would tear the guy apart, and punish Cas, remind him who he belongs to. He'd only ever felt that way about one other person. He was aware of the rumors that went around of him getting violent with an ex girlfriend. Although, it wasn't a girl. It was another guy. His name was Inias. And contrary to the rumor, Inias was just as bad as Dean. They were toxic to each other. The beat each other. Insulted each other. And had the roughest sex that Dean has ever had. Dean had ended up leaving Inias when Sam kept asking about the bruises and cuts he would show up with. He also needed to dominate someone, and with Inias, it was a constant battle for dominance. So he bailed. Sam had thought their dad got drunk and hit Dean and though he hated his father, he would never let Sam blame him for something like that. He knew Sam knew how he led his life. With violence and sex and loud music. Sam was the only person perhaps other than Inias who could see through Dean's fake charms. It concerned Sam that his brother was so far gone, but never has Dean lashed out at him, or did anything to hurt him, so for the most part Sam just ignored it. He had tried to get Dean help in the past but Dean was convinced he was fine. He was a narcissist. He thought he was above everybody and thought he was always right. And nobody could tell him otherwise.

When Dean got home, he flopped down on the couch, taking out his phone. He unlocked it and browsed his photos until he reached the ones he took of Cas when he was sleeping. He ran his finger down the picture, biting his lip.

"So fucking perfect" he mumbled to himself. With that thought, he decided to shoot Cas a text.

**Hey, big boy. How you feeling? **

**D**

Dean pressed "send" and waited for a reply. He stared down at his phone, frowning. Why the fuck should he care how Cas is feeling? Why the hell is he even asking? His thoughts were interrupted when his phone buzzed.

**Ok. My neck hurts. I apologize for.. ejaculating so early. I am embarrassed.**

**C**

Dean smirked to himself.

**No apologies, that was hot, you're hot. And good. It will remind you that you're mine. Nobody else is to touch you, Cas. I'm serious.**

**D **

A moment later, a reply came.

**Oh, thank you. And yes, I know, Dean. I am yours. Are you mine?**

**C**

Dean frowned again, re-reading Cas's reply. What the fuck was he supposed to say to that? _"You're supposed to say, 'no, I don't belong to anybody', dumbass"_ he told himself.

**Depends. Maybe if you're a good boy. **

**D **

oOo

Castiel stared at his phone. What could he say to that? He didn't want to beg Dean to be his. He was still perplexed as to why he was so willingly offering himself up to the green eyed man. Every time he had a bad feeling about Dean and thought about calling off whatever sick arrangement he had agreed to, those thoughts would vanish when he would see Dean, or receive a text from him.

As he was thinking of a reply, Gabriel and Sam came through the front door, laughing animatedly. The stumbled into the living room, where Cas was sitting, sipping some tea and reading a book.

"I'm totally going to kick your ass little moose, Call of Duty is not for nerds like you!" Gabe laughed.

"You wish, dude. I'll bet you five dollars that I'll cream you!"

Cas looked up at the interaction, tilting his head.

"Gabriel, what are you doing home? I thought you and Sam had plans today?" he asked.

"Yeah but Kevin got sick and...holy shit bro! What happened to your neck?!" Gabe gasped, noticing the wound decorating Cas's neck.

Cas went stiff, his cheeks starting to burn. Shit. What was he supposed to say? He wasn't a good liar. Was this thing with Dean supposed to be a secret?

"Uh, I had someone over earlier. Uhm, things had got heated, and uh, yeah" Cas said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Sam's eyes widened, he took out his phone to read the text Dean had sent him a couple of hours prior.

**Going to see Cas. Call me when you're home and I'll pick us up some grub or something.**

**D**

Dean was the one who had left the mark on Cas. He knew how Dean was. He loved his brother a lot and respected him and let him do his own thing, but he also knew how Cas was. Loving, kind, sweet, smart, innocent, all around he was a great guy. He cared about Cas. He couldn't let Dean hurt him. As much as it made him nervous, he would have to ask Dean to leave Cas alone.

oOo

**A/N:**

**There we go, friends. I feel like I might finally see where this is going. Praise the Lord and all that jazz!**

**I'm also working on another one shot which I hope to get up in the next couple of days, it'll also deal with some pretty heavy stuff but hey, I love me some angst and tragedy. So after I finish that up I shall present you with a new chapter. Thanks for reading. Reviews are what make my world go 'round ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:  
Hey friends. I'm here with a new chapter! Just a warning, this chapter will contain non-con and all that jazz. So if you no likey, no read-y.**

Chapter 13: 

Dean sat at home feeling pretty content with himself. It had been about 6 hours since he'd seen Cas, and he was itching for more. Christmas break would start on Monday, and he knew he wouldn't be able to handle not seeing his blue-eyed beauty for 2 whole weeks. As far as he knew, Cas didn't do much anyway and would most likely be homebound for the duration of the break, so he had to make it his mission to see as much of his little toy as possible.  
Dean sat in his room, AC/DC blaring on his speakers. He was laying on his bed, thinking of Cas when someone knocked on his door.  
"Uh, Dean, can I come in?" he heard Sam ask.  
"I guess so, Sammy."  
Sam entered the room, and Dean sat up, patting a seat on his bed.  
"Take a seat. What brings you to my bedroom this fine snowy day?" Dean asked, a smile playing on his lips.  
Dean took notice of the nervous look that Sam was sporting. He fidgeted with his hands, staring down at his feet.

"Uhm, Dean. Did you go see Cas today?" Sam asked.

Dean raised his eyebrow. Sam was acting weird.

"Yes, Sam I did. I already told you that. Why do you ask?"

"Uh, I was just wondering. Dean, did you...uhm, did you...you know.." Sam stuttered.

"No, Sam, I don't know. Come on man, spit it out"

"Did you like, sleep with Cas?" Sam asked so quickly that it sounded like one big word.  
Dean snorted, looking at his younger brother. What was he playing at, and why was it any of his business? Did Cas say something to him?

"No, I didn't Sam. Not that it's any of your business anyway. We done here?" Dean asked, annoyance lacing his voice.

"Uh, no. Dean, Cas had a big bite mark on his neck. And unless he had someone else over..." Sam started, but Dean cut him off.

"Look, Sam. What I do with Cas is nobodys business, okay? So drop it and leave"  
Sam stared at his brother for a moment, he could tell he was getting irritated but Cas deserved to be stood up for. 

"Dean, Cas is a good guy. You could have anybody you want, you should just...just leave him alone, okay? I don't ask for anything but I care about Cas and I know how you are with people, he deserves better than that" Sam said, scooting over a bit to put more distance between him and his brother.

"Sam, look, I know you're trying to play the good brother here but this is none of your fucking business and Cas is a big boy, he can stand up for himself" Dean growled. Where the fuck did Sam get off on telling him to leave Cas alone. Cas must have said something, the little bitch. Didn't even have the balls to say it to Dean's face. Dean felt anger bubble up inside him. He was so close, so close to having Cas for himself. He'd have to pay Cas a visit shortly.

"Dean, Cas is too shy to tell you the truth. He's innocent and trusting and I'm asking you, please, leave Cas out of this. He's not a toy and he needs someone he can be comfortable with and..."

Dean cut Sam off again, standing up, taking the glass of water that was sitting on his bedside table, whipping it against the wall. Sam flinched and stood up quickly as the glass shattered and littered the floor.

"He sure was comfortable when I made him come in his pants!" Dean screamed out. "Get the fuck out of my room Sam and don't you ever tell me what to do again. Cas is mine. HE'S MINE!"

Sam looked at Dean with wide eyes. He couldn't believe the words that came out of his brother's mouth. This was not going to end well. He could see the possessiveness in Dean's eyes. He knew his brother well enough to know that Dean was in too deep. Once Dean had his sights on somebody, he stopped at nothing to make them his. He would hurt anyone who got in his way, including the object of his desire. Dean had never yelled at Sam before. He was scared. What was he going to do? He loved his brother but there was now a very real possibility that someone could get seriously hurt. He saw the rage on Dean's face. He ducked his head and quickly ran out of Dean's room. For the first time in his life he was afraid of Dean.

Dean paced his room after Sam had left. He was running on adrenaline and was pissed. He needed to see Cas NOW. If Cas had said something to Sam to make him come in his room and demand he leave Cas alone, then there would be hell to pay. He took out his phone and opened the message thread between him and Cas.

**Need to see you. Now.**

D.

Dean threw on his boots and jacket, he was going over to the Novak house whether Cas replied now.

**Oh, okay. You could stop by. Gabriel is here but he is watching a movie in the living room.**

C

Dean left his room, storming past Sam.

"Dean, where are you going?" Sam asked frantically.  
Dean just ignored him and left the apartment, slamming the door on his way out. The drive to Cas's house felt like it took hours. He was still fuming. When he got to the house he got out of his car, slamming the door. He stormed up to the front door of the Novak residence and rang the doorbell. Gabriel answered the door.

"Hey, Dean-o. What brings you here?"

Dean stormed past Gabriel, inviting himself in.

"Where's Cas?" He asked impatiently.

Gabriel just stared at the clearly agitated man.

"Uh, he's in his room, is everything okay, Dean?"

Dean just mumbled a "mhm" and stormed past Gabe, making his way to Cas's room. His mind filled with memories of breaking into the house, going into Cas's room to watch him when he slept. Damn he looked beautiful, lips all parted and skin exposed. Dean felt his cock twitch at the memory. He approached Cas's door and knocked. Cas opened the door, and Dean stormed past him, closing the door behind him.

"Uh, hello, Dean. What's wrong?" Cas asked.

Dean surprised Cas by grabbing his shoulders, shoving him hard against the door. He held on to the smaller man's shoulders, pinning him there. Cas's eyes grew wide, he saw nothing but pure fury on Dean's face.

"Dean...you're...you're hurting me.."

"Did you go and tell Sam that you felt uncomfortable around me? That you didn't want me to touch you?" Dean growled.

Cas shook his head furiously.

"What? No. No, Dean, I didn't, I swear!"

Cas was shocked when one of Dean's hands released his shoulders, dipping lower, roughly cupping his crotch.

"Does this make you feel uncomfortable, Cas? Huh?" Dean asked.

Cas didn't reply, he just stared at Dean in shock.

Dean released Cas, dipping fingers into the waistband of Cas's sweatpants, yanking them down along with his boxers. Cas gasped, he had never let anybody see him naked before. It was one thing to let Dean grind against him and make him come in his pants, but this was too much. He bent down, trying to pull his pants back up when Dean grabbed his hands roughly and guided him to his bed, shoving him down so he was laying on his stomach. When he tried to get up, Dean shoved him back down.

"Dean, please. I..I don't want this." Cas studdered. He couldn't believe what was happening.

"Oh, what Cas? Does this make you uncomfortable? Maybe we should call Sam and he'll come save the day!" Dean spat, slapping Cas hard on the ass. Cas cried out and Dean slapped him again. Tears started to form in his eyes.

"Dean, I didn't tell Sam anything, I swear! Please, please stop!" Cas pleaded.

Dean wasn't in his right mind. It was if he was running on auto-pilot again. He was blinded by his own rage. In his head, Cas didn't want him. And the more Cas begged him to stop, the angrier he got. Sam was right, Cas didn't want him. He was enraged.

"Shut up, Castiel, just shut up!"

Dean spit on his fingers, abruptly shoving one finger inside Cas's tight hole. Cas let out a cry, clenching his muscles, trying to force Dean's finger out. He was a virgin. He didn't want to lose it this way.

"Dean! Please, stop this! We can talk about this, please!" Cas begged, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Dean didn't respond, he just forced another finger inside Cas. He pumped his fingers in and out with brutal speed. His cock was painfully hard. If Cas didn't want him, fine. What the fuck ever. But he wasn't leaving until he finally got to sink his cock into that perfect little hole. He had been consumed with the thoughts of taking Cas since he first layed eyes on him. He couldn't stop. It felt like a dream. It felt good.

Without warning he shoved a third finger inside Cas, who was sobbing now. He scissored Cas open, undoing his own pants, forcing them along with his boxers down around his thighs. When he pulled his fingers out, Cas attempted to flee but Dean shoved him back down, slapping him hard on the ass yet again, putting his hand on the back of Cas's neck, forcing his head down.

"Dean. Please please please. Don't do this!" Cas sobbed into the his pillow.

"Shut up Cas. Keep your mouth fucking shut"

Dean spit on his hand, coating his throbbing erection with his saliva. He snaked a hand under Cas's hips, forcing them up, while his other hand still held Cas's head down. He lined his cock up with Cas's puckered hole, slowly forcing the tip in. Cas was crying, trying to deny him entry but his efforts were fruitless. Dean pushed himself in further, biting his lip hard as he finally bottomed out. Cas was shaking. It was so painful. It hurt so bad. He closed his eyes, trying to block out the pain. He wanted to call out to Gabriel but he was scared of what Dean would do if Gabe tried to stop him.

"Fuck, Cas. You're so fucking tight" Dean said through gritted teeth. Cas let out a whimper when he felt Dean start to move. He didn't take his time, he wasn't going to be gentle. He thrusted in and out of Cas with brutal force, his fingers digging into his hips as he forced himself in and out of the abused hole.

Cas was weeping and let out a cry when he felt Dean hit his prostate. For a moment, all the pain he felt disappeared, he let out an involuntary moan when Dean hit the sweet spot again, and despite his objections to what Dean was doing, his cock was throbbing. As Dean pounded into him, his cock rubbed between his stomach and the bed. He was going to come. He didn't want to. This wasn't fair. He tried his best to fight the feelings of pleasure but it was useless, he felt his body spasm as he came hard into the sheets. Dean felt Cas clamp down on him, and that was it, he cried out Cas's name as he painted Cas's insides with his own hot come.

He collapsed ontop of Cas, who was still crying. He had just been raped. He was in shock. He felt disgusted with himself. He felt Dean roll off from ontop of him to lay beside him. He kept his face buried in the pillow. He couldn't let Dean see him. He was surprised when he felt Dean's hand snake through his hair. It was almost comforting. Dean stroked his hair and snuggled up to him, planting a kiss in his hair.

"Shh, baby. Don't cry." Dean soothed. It was eerie how his demeanor changed after he took the thing most precious to Cas, his virginity. Cas just sobbed. He felt sick. But he didn't want Dean to leave. What the fuck was wrong with him?

"Cas, look at me." Dean whispered.

Cas didn't want to, but he found himself turning his head to look at Dean anyway. His eyes were red and puffy, he was scared to see the hate in Dean's eyes that he saw before Dean had his way with him. He was surprised to see concern and affection on Dean's face. Dean put his hand on Cas's cheek, wiping away a stray tear.

"You're so beautiful, Castiel."

"Dean...you..you hurt me. You..raped me" Cas sobbed.

Dean just stroked his cheek.

"Cas, I love you."

Cas's eyes widened. How could Dean love him? He barely knew him. Dean clearly had some deep issues and needed help. He was delusional. He was sick. Cas knew he had to get away. To report the rape and get Dean the help he needs. His brain was screaming at him to get away, to run and never look back.

"I love you too, Dean" He said before he could stop himself. Dean hurt him, and yet he wanted nothing more than to be with him. Maybe he was just as fucked up as Dean.

oOo

**A/N:  
Sorry if the rape made anyone uncomfortable. It was a necessary evil, though. Cas also has some deep issues, obviously.  
Anyhow, hope you enjoyed.  
Feel free to shoot a review :') **


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:  
I don't really have much to say this time around, but I really wanna thank eiralu for the review. It couldn't have come at a better time. I was considering putting this story on the back burner for a bit since for the last few chapters, I hadn't received any alerts for them. I felt like I was writing to an absent audience. The other story I'm working on seems to grab more attention so I almost wanted to give up, but I'm happy at least ONE person is still routing for this story.  
And to answer your questions, at some point both Dean and Cas will get to the route of their issues. It'll be messy until then but there is a sliver of hope. And yes, Gabriel will not be pleased when he finds out the truth about their relationship. But anyhow, I just wanted to say thanks and also if anyone else is reading, thank you to you also and sorry for the long note, haha. Anyway, here ya go!**

Chapter 14:

Castiel and Dean layed beside each other in Cas's bed for about an hour. Everything in Cas's mind was screaming at him to leave, but a larger part of him felt a peace he had never felt. He didn't like the hold Dean had on him, but he couldn't help but to admire the man. Dean rolled onto his side, propping his head up in his hand, watching Cas, who had his eyes closed. Dean reached his one free hand forward, tracing the outline of Cas's beautiful lips with the tip of his finger. He was a bit shocked when he felt Cas pucker his lips to kiss the digit. Cas had been quiet since the rape and the declaration of love. Dean knew what he did was wrong but of course, he couldn't find it within himself to really care. He hurt Cas, yes, but that was the goal, was it not? To defile the young virgin and pop his little ripe cherry. Dean should have been home by now, getting drunk or calling another girl over. He never stayed after sex and he shocked even himself by telling Cas that he loved him. Dean wasn't capable of love. Lust, sure, but love, no way. The only person he ever loved was his mom. And she was dead. And Dean might as well have died along with her because he had been a shell of his true self ever since. He decided not to over think it.

"Hey, Cas, you okay?" Dean whispered.

Cas nodded.

"Yes, but I am very sore, Dean."

"I'm sorry, are you mad at me?" Dean asked, a frown playing on his face.

"No, surprisingly I am not."

Dean smiled to himself, leaning down, rubbing the tip of his nose against Cas's before pressing his lips gently to Cas's. Cas returned the kiss, rubbing his hand down Dean's arm. Dean sighed a sigh of contentment and gently sucked Cas's bottom lip into his mouth, running his tongue along it before softly biting down. Cas let out a small whimper and Dean smiled into the kiss. He released Cas's lip with a slight tug.

"What hurts, Cas?" Dean asked huskily.

Cas just blushed, not wanting to talk about it. He shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, Dean"

"Come on, Cas, tell me"

"No, I am fine."

Dean arched an eyebrow, locking his gaze onto Cas's as he took his index finger into his mouth, sucking on it. Cas watched with wide eyes as Dean swirled his tongue around it, coating it in saliva. Cas swallowed nervously when Dean slid his hand down Cas's body, pushing his now wet finger past his balls, touching his finger lightly to Cas's abused hole. Cas winced in pain, and bit his lip, watching Dean intently. Dean smirked at him, his eyes lust blown.

"This hurt, baby?"

Cas swallowed hard and nodded.

"Let me make it better" Dean purred.

Dean removed his finger, kissing a trail down Cas's body. He stopped at his chest, flicking his tongue against Cas's nipple. Cas let out an involuntary moan and Dean lightly sunk his teeth into the now erect bud. Cas groaned and bucked his hips up in reflex. He could feel the blood flow to his cock as the pain filled his body. Dean just grinned and kissed lower until the got to the soft short curls of Cas's pubic hair. He ran his fingers through it, sucking the skin of Cas's hipbone into his mouth. Cas closed his eyes, his breathing becoming slightly heavier. Why was he letting Dean touch him again? Dean had already used and abused him, and now he was letting Dean have the privilege yet again? He was going to try to stop Dean when he felt a wet tongue flick against his balls. He let out a whimper as Dean sucked them into his mouth, massaging them with his tongue. Cas bit his lip, gripping onto the sheets, his breath hitching when Dean grabbed his leaking cock into his hand, starting to pump. He forced his hips up to thrust into the tight circle of Dean's fist. He let out a disappointed moan when Dean stopped, pulling off of him.

"Hands and knees, Cas. Face down, ass up." Dean demanded. Cas just layed there, debating his options. He didn't want to be fucked again. He was too sore. He quickly obeyed though, when he felt Dean bite into his thigh. Cas turned onto his stomach, lifting his ass into the air, laying his head down on his pillow. Dean bit his lip in anticipation, watching Cas.

"Mm, you're so beautiful like this, Cas. Look at that perfect little hole. Looks so good, baby" Dean crooned. Cas couldn't help but to shiver at Dean's words. He felt Dean's hands run down his back, stopping at his ass to grab the firm flesh of his ass cheeks. Dean kissed Cas's ass cheek, before biting down onto it. Cas groaned as Dean licked the bitten flesh and sucked at it. Dean parted Cas's cheeks, biting his lip. Cas was stunned when he felt a damp pair of lips kiss the tender skin of his ass hole. He felt embarrassed being so exposed and wanted to flee but when he felt the tip of Dean's tongue trace a circle around the sore muscle, he moaned. Dean smiled against Cas's hole, flattening his tongue, licking a stripe up the sore hole and up Cas's perineum. Cas's body shivered as Dean swirled his tongue along the perineum, before dipping back down to plant a kiss on the hole again, this time poking his tongue out to breach the entrance. Cas was astonished at how good it felt, even opting to push his hips back, forcing Dean's tongue to slide in deeper. Dean reached forward and gripped Cas's now throbbing erection, pumping his fist quickly as he wiggled his tongue around inside Cas. Cas cried out, gripping the sheets hard, fucking himself on the hot muscle of Dean's tongue. Dean pumped his fist quicker and then that was it, Cas saw stars as he came hard all over Dean's hand and his own stomach and chest. Dean withdrew is tongue, planting one last kiss on Cas's ass cheek before moving back up on the bed, grinning mischievously at Cas, who collapsed onto his stomach, breathing heavily. He snuck a peek at Dean, who's lips and mouth were red from going down on him. He looked positively sexy.

"Feeling any better, baby?" Dean asked.

Cas just nodded, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Dean, that was amazing. Thank you."

Dean chuckled. "Cas, trust me, it was my pleasure. Mm, you taste so good you know that? So tight around my tongue, baby."

Cas bit his lip. Dean certainly had a way with words. Cas leaned up, planting a chaste kiss on Dean's lips, not caring where Dean's mouth just was. He found it kind of erotic, he could taste himself on Dean's lips. Dean tried to deepen the kiss when Cas's bedroom door flung open.

"Cassie, Sam said to check on you and... WOAH!" Gabriel gasped. The blanket had been thrown off during Dean's little all you can eat buffet and they were both laying stark naked, both of their bodies on full display. Dean, of course didn't care, he was proud of his body, Cas's face went bright red though, as he quickly reached for the blanket, pulling it over them.

"Get out, Gabriel!" Cas yelled.

"Woah, man, what the hell are you two doing? Dean, did you take my brother's V card?" Gabriel asked, his eyes full of shock.

Cas was surprised when Dean said a simple "Yes."

"Wait, so are you guys together now? Since when? I didn't even knew you guys talked."

Dean, as usual, took charge of the conversation.

"Castiel is mine, he has been mine since I first met him."

Gabriel shot Dean a strange look. Dean's face was impassive. Something felt weird about the situation. Gabriel knew Cas to be shy and self-contained. And now here he was laying naked in bed with the infamous Dean Winchester. The emotionless look on Dean's face scared him the most. There was no passion in his eyes. No feeling. Just seriousness. Gabriel had found it odd how Sam called and told him to check in on Cas. He didn't give a reason, just said he was a bit worried about him.

"Uh, okay." Gabriel offered lamely, before exiting the room. He had to talk to Sam about this, because something was off about the whole situation.

OoOo

The rest of Christmas break went by with some tension between the two families. Cas's family started to notice the bruises that littered his body and Sam noticed Dean's charming facade was starting to fail. He lost his temper easily, and him and Sam often got into verbal fights. Cas's parents didn't know about their son's new relationship and Gabriel tried to keep it quiet for Cas's sake. Cas insisted that Dean didn't abuse him, which was a half truth. Dean did hit him, but what they didn't know is that Cas started asking Dean to hit him. He felt a strong sexual release when he was abused by Dean. He was the perfect masochist to Dean's sadist. Dean got off on inflicting pain, causing humiliation and breaking down Cas, and Cas, well, he found himself trying to find ways to get Dean angry, angry enough to force himself on Cas, to slap him and bite him and hurt him. Dean would sometimes get so violent that Cas couldn't walk for days, once he provoked Dean to the point where he hit him in the face, leaving him with a black eye and a split lip. But despite their strange sexual relationship, Cas seen nothing wrong with what they were doing. Dean was right, Cas was his. Dean still slept with other people and Cas knew that. It hurt him and made him sick and he would ignore Dean when he came over until it got to the point where Dean would pretty much rape him again. But I guess as the saying goes you can't rape the willing.

They were due to go back to school the Monday after New Years. Things seemed pretty normal that morning for the Winchesters, but as Dean was in the shower, his phone went off. Sam picked it up to see a text from Cas.

**You gave me another black eye, Dean. I haven't seen you in 2 days, since you punched me. I am sorry I overreacted when I found out you slept with Lisa. Forgive me? I love you and you can do whatever you want to me, please reply.**

C

Sam stared at the text in disbelief, he knew they had a screwed up relationship but he didn't know it was that bad. Cas let Dean walk all over him, treat him like shit and he told Dean he loved him? He told himself it would be a bad idea to go through Dean's phone, but now he was too curious. He went through some of messed up texts between him and Cas.

**Coming over. Want you naked and ready. Fuck yourself open for me, baby. You better be nice and prepped when I get there.**

D

Thanks for tonight, baby. You're so hot, I love you.

D

I love you, angel. Goodnight.

D

Fuck you Cas you stupid piece of shit. I hate you. You're lucky all you got was a punch in the face.

**D**

Call me and touch yourself.

D

Sam was confused and shocked at the messaged. Sam had never heard Dean say "I love you" before. The sexual messages were expected, but Sam didn't expect Dean to be so pushy and insistent. He knew deep down that whatever he told Cas to do, he would do it. But even more shocking then Dean's messages were Cas's.

**Don't leave me. I need you. I love you. You're my everything.**

C

You're an asshole Dean, I never want to see you again.

**  
C**

I like it when you come on my face. I miss your cock.

C

Dean, I had bought a dildo today since you refuse to speak to me. I will use it on myself and you can lay in your bed and jerk off to the thought of me pounding it into my ass.

C

Sam was in shock, Cas was such a quiet, nice boy and Dean turned him into some codependent sexual deviant. Despite his better judgment, Sam went into Dean's photo gallery. There was a separate album labeled "Cas" and Sam opened it. Sam let out a small gasp at what he seen. There was explicit photos of Cas. Cas crying with Dean's cock in his mouth, Cas's face covered in come, pictures of his ass which was covered in bruises and welts, and some rare normal looking pictures of Cas smiling, Dean and Cas sharing a kiss, Dean and Cas laying in bed together, and then strangely some random pictures of Cas sleeping. One was of him with a blanket on, and in every frame the blanket got lower. There were pictures taken of Cas through his window, pictures taken of Cas at school, at the library, at the coffee shop, even one of him showering in the locker room. Sam checked the dates on the photos and suddenly felt ill. All those photos were taken before Dean and Cas had even started talking. That's what Sam knew this went deeper than he or Gabriel thought. Dean had been stalking Cas for months, and judging from the sleeping photos even broke into Cas's house. Dean wasn't just infatuated with Cas, he was downright obsessed. He was sucking Cas into a world of sex and alcohol and abuse and Sam knew that if anyone got in the way, he would be capable of killing them. He needed to find a way to end this, before someone got hurt. **  
**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:  
So I took the day off from school today and so I had time to update again, so, hurrah!  
So I have an ending for this story in mind finally, so I'm going to work on wrapping it up. There will be a couple more chapters, of course. I still enjoy writing it immensely. Thank you to those who favorited and followed, and thank you to eiralu and LyricReilly for the reviews :)**

Chapter 15:

When Dean got of the shower, Sam opted not to say anything about the shocking content on Dean's phone. He needed to talk to Gabriel first. He felt like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He loved his brother and used to respect him, but he was scared of him, unsure of how he would react over a serious talk about his relationship with Cas. But he also knew he couldn't put the blame solely on his older brother. Cas, as he found out, was egging Dean on, encouraging his violent and sickening behavior. What he wasn't sure of though is if Cas was like this all along, or if Dean's influence on him turned him into somewhat of a masochist. Either way, something needed to be done.

OoO

The Winchester boys got dressed and drove to school together. When they got there Sam seen Cas and Gabe already walking into the school, he seen Cas say hello to Michael, who said a hello to Cas, before his gaze met Dean's, his face loosing its color. Sam looked over to Dean who had a deranged look on his face. Sam rose an eyebrow at the exchange, wondering why the usually cocky and arrogant Michael looked petrified of Dean. He noted this, and decided that later he would need to have a word with Michael.

Sam and Dean walked into the school, spotting the Novak's standing by Gabriel's locker. They both walked over to them, and both Sam and Gabriel were absolutely stunned when Dean gripped Cas by his shoulders and shoved him hard against the locker, kissing him roughly. They both just stared with wide eyes, their jaws dropped as Dean and Cas shared a passionate kiss. They kissed with passion for a few seconds before they finally broke apart for air, Dean tugging at Cas's now kiss swollen lower lip as he pulled away.

"Dean..." Cas breathed, his pupils noticeably lust blow.

"Hey, Cas" Dean purred, looking equally aroused.

"I..I thought you were mad at me.."

"Mm, looks like you'll just have to make it up to me, angel" Dean replied, leaning in to nip at Cas's neck. Cas closed his eyes and let a small moan escape his lips.

"Uh, okay, that's enough, Dean" Gabriel said uneasily.

Dean just rolled his eyes, turning his gaze to Gabriel. Gabe felt his blood run cold at the unhinged look on Dean's face.

"Got a problem, Gabriel?" Dean spat icily.

Sam could tell Gabriel was about to ream Dean out about his actions toward his once sweet and innocent brother, and he quickly intercepted.

"Uh, come on, Gabe, we're going to be late for class" Sam baited. Before the crisis could be averted, though, Lisa Braeden sauntered up to their little group. He approached Dean and pressed a kiss to his lips. Dean didn't pull away at first, but when she tried to deepen the kiss, he gently pushed her away.

"Hey, baby. I had a great night last night" she purred, running her hands down his chest.

"You slept with her again, Dean? What happened to never seeing her again?" Cas spat, tears filling his eyes.

"Oh, relax Cas. Don't be such a baby. I was horny and I was mad at you. Don't like it? Tough." Dean said, anger rising. He pushed Lisa's hands off his chest.

"Scram, Lisa. You were a good lay but get the fuck out of my face" Dean added.

Lisa looked at Dean with hurt etched on her features.

"You're an asshole, Dean Winchester!" she yelled, slapping him against his cheek before storming off. Dean just let out a genuine laugh, rubbing his cheek.

"She's right, Dean. You are an asshole." Cas said, staring daggers into Dean, who just scoffed.

"Oh, come on, baby. Don't be stupid. You know how this shit works by now."

Sam and Gabe just watched the two men argue, feeling uncomfortable.

"Well maybe I'm done with you, Dean. Maybe I want someone who will be loyal"

"You shut your mouth, Castiel. You'll never be done with me. You are mine, and mine alone."

"You're just fucked up, Dean. You don't know what you want. You're so messed up that I don't want you anymore. You disgust me. You're weak. I hate you!" Cas yelled.

"Cassie, what the fuck had gotten into you?" Gabe demanded. He had never heard Cas speak like that to anybody before. Judging from the text messages between the two, Sam knew Cas was trying to get a rise out of Dean, and it was working. Dean shoved Cas back up against the locker, wrapping his hand around his throat. Gabriel was about to step in when Sam stopped him, the both took note of the small smile that graced Cas's lips. This is what he wanted.

"You ever speak to me like that again and you'll be punished, Castiel. You are mine. You are not going anywhere. You got that?" Dean said through gritted teeth.

Cas just nodded and smirked. Dean released Cas and stormed off down the hall.

"Castiel, what the fuck man? You need to end this shit. Dean isn't good for you, man" Gabriel pleaded.

"I love him" Cas said simply, unaffected over what had just taken place, before turning on his heel, walking off in the opposite direction that Dean had stormed off in.

"Sam, I know he's you're older brother but this isn't right. He's changing Castiel into someone I don't recognize. He's hurting him, dude." Gabriel said uncomfortably, expecting Sam to get offended.

Sam let out a frustrated sigh, looking down.

"I know, Gabriel. I know. I tried talking to him before but he lost it. We have to be careful about this."

Gabriel just nodded. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know. I love Dean to death but we need to do something to convince Cas that he's dangerous and unstable. After we get Cas to break it off, then I guess I just have to try to convince Dean to keep it together."

"Okay, well where do we start? Because I'm sorry Sam, if Dean touches my brother like that again, I don't care how tough he is, I will attack him"

"I understand. And I don't know, I noticed Michael flinch when Dean stared at him earlier. Maybe we can start by trying to talk to him" Sam suggested. He wanted to tell Gabriel about the photos he seen of Cas injured and the other photos of Cas taken from when Dean broke into their house, but he needed Gabriel to be level headed until they found out more information.

"Okay, then. Well Michael usually skips first so I guess we are too." Gabriel said, grabbing Sams arm and dragging him off.

OoO

They found Michael in this usual skipping spot, along with some of his friends. He gave them a strange look as they approached him.

"Can I help you, freshmen?" he asked, earning laughs from his friends.

"We need to talk to you. About Dean" Sam said.

The smile disappeared from Michael's face.

"Be right back" he mumbled to his friends, getting up and following the two younger boys to a more secluded spot.

"What the fuck do you two want? I have nothing to say!" Michael spat.

"I seen the look my brother gave you today, you looked scared.." Sam started.

"Pfft, I'm not fucking scared of Dean"

"Okay then, we'll just go tell him you said hi" Gabe said, once again grabbing Sam's arm to walk away. Michael took the bait.

"No! No wait. Ugh. What the fuck do you two want to know?" he asked, defeated.

"What happened? Why did you look so afraid when Dean glared at you?"

"Look, what Dean did, I can't tell anybody. I'd rather not have a repeat of the event, okay? He knows I talked, and I get to deal with the downfall. Also, why does it matter? Is Dean sending you for information?"

"No. He didn't. Look, Michael. Something is wrong with my brother, he isn't right. We're afraid he might hurt Castiel, we need to know what happened so we can put an end to all of it" Sam said in his most reassuring tone. "We promise we won't breathe a word of any of this to him"

Michael looked uncomfortable and nervous. He bit his lip and fidgeted with his hands.

"Uh, okay. Well, it happened like this..."

Sam and Gabriel listened in shock and horror as Michael told them the incident with Dean. Sam was in denial at first, storming off refusing to listen to it. He didn't want to believe it. But all the facts added up. After hearing what Michael told him, seeing the violence between Cas and Dean, and knowing Dean had been stalking Cas before, he vowed to put an end to it. Both him and Gabe agreed that after school, they were going to isolate Cas and tell him everything. Little did they know it was going to blow up in their faces, causing an even larger mess for the two disturbed young men.

OoO

**A/N:  
Dun dun dunnnn. We're almost at the home stretch, friends. I think 2 or 3 more chapters and we will be donezo. Don't worry, we will get to the route of their issues and things will somehow work themselves out. It won't be a smooth ride until then, though. Anyway, hope you enjoy.  
Love and review! :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:  
Hey friends. Sorry it's taken a couple of days to update. My wee one got the flu and I'm buried in biology and English homework. Anyone wanna write a 1000 word short story for me? Haha. I seriously suck at writing non fanfiction things and I'm dreading writing it sooo bad. Apparently writing the homoerotic adventures of Dean and Cas will get me a 0 on the assignment. Cruel.**

ANYWAY, thank you to unexpecteddreamz, Kylie, theincredibleinkspitter and Jackie for the reviews. Ya'll are the bees knees!

Chapter 16:

The rest of that school day went by a slow and uncomfortable as it could have been. By lunch time Cas and Dean joined their brothers in the cafeteria acting as if nothing ever happened. They were feeding each other and sneaking kisses and holding hands and it made the two younger siblings feel uneasy. The task of separating the two disturbed men was going to prove to be a difficult one.

After lunch, Cas and Dean had different classes. Cas had art and Dean had autoshop. They shared a sweet kiss before parting ways, each heading to their respective classes. Once in art, Castiel took his seat, wasting no time in completing the portrait they were assigned earlier that week. He barely blinked when he felt a presence beside him.

"Novak" the familiar voice said.

"Joanna Beth" he replied, not taking his eyes off his project.

Jo looked at his portrait and raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you drawing Dean Winchester, Cas?"

"Because he is beautiful, that's why" Cas replied simply.

Since he had got involved with Dean, Cas's friendship with Jo had been pretty much non-existent. She had tried texting and calling him regularly but he always failed to respond/

"Cas, I'm worried about you. You told me you wouldn't involve yourself with Dean, he's bad news."

Cas let out an annoyed sigh, shaking his head slightly.

"I appreciate the concern but Dean is not bad news. I am rather smitten with him, Jo, and as my friend I'd like to think you would support my choice to engage in a relationship with him."

"Castiel, it's not a real relationship. He sleeps around with other people and I'm not blind, I see the bruises and cuts you always seem to be sporting these days."

Cas set his pencil down, slamming his hand down on his desk, causing Jo to jump a little.

"Look, I'm fine with him sleeping with other people. He loves me, he told me so. And I love him. So until you can accept that I suggest you leave me alone, Joanna. I do not wish to be friends with somebody who can't be happy for me." Cas said callously, grabbing his art supplies and getting up to move to a different desk.  
He didn't understand why nobody was happy for him. He spent his entire life alone. His parents never paid attention to him or his brother, often leaving them for days on end. They would always leave money and make sure the boys had the latest technology and the best clothes but they were never there. They left him to take care of Gabriel the majority of the time, which proved to be a handful. Gabriel rebelled because he could get away with it, leaving Cas to frequently clean up after his messes. Cas never had a real childhood, he was forced to be the grown up. They used to have a nanny when they were younger, but one day their nanny got a little too affectionate with him, and that's when Cas told his parents he would take care of Gabe. If Gabriel hadn't walked in on their nanny undoing Castiel's pants, Cas is certain his virginity would have been stolen. It was then when he became so sexually awkward, not wanting to be touched by anyone. Not until Dean. Cas had never felt as free as he did with Dean. Dean forced him to feel the excitement of being touched intimately. The thrill of being dominated. All his life he had to take care of people, and with Dean, he didn't have to. With Dean he got to _feel. _Being with Dean was a roller-coaster. It was exciting and for the first time in his life he didn't have to feel alone, to feel small and unimportant. They way Dean had claimed him as his own had set the wheels in motion for him to fall in love. Nobody ever wanted Castiel as much as Dean Winchester did. For the very first time in his life, he was wanted. He was lusted for. He knew how to press Dean's buttons and liked the feeling of control he got when he pushed Dean to his breaking point. Everyone kept telling him that they missed the "old Castiel" and that amused him. The old Castiel would never speak up for himself. The old Castiel did what he was told and spent his free time buried in a book or video games. The old Castiel was lonely and miserable, his only friend being his little brother who was too busy with his own social life to hang out with his nerdy older brother. As far as Cas was concerned, the "old Castiel" died the moment Dean told him that he loved him.

After school, Cas and Dean made their way back to the Novak house. Their parents, once again, were off on some "business trip" and wouldn't be back until the following Friday. When they got there, they both collapsed onto the couch, turning on some crappy daytime TV. Cas was zoning out at the television when he felt a hand snake up his thigh. He looked down at the hand and back up to Dean, who was watching him, biting his lower lip. Cas just offered a small smile as Dean lightly ran his fingers along the crotch of his jeans, teasing until he cupped his now growing erection.

"Dean..." Cas breathed. Dean just grinned, scooting closer, leaning his head in to kiss the now heated skin of Cas's neck, all while rubbing his hand skillfully against his crotch. Cas closed his eyes and leaned his head back to give Dean better access to his neck, and he felt Dean smile against his skin, sucking it into his mouth, before moving his hand up to the button of Cas's jeans, popping it open, and undoing his fly.

"Hips up, baby. Wanna see that cock." Dean whispered into Cas's ear. Cas didn't have to be asked twice as he lifted his hips up so Dean could pull his pants and boxers down with ease. He gasped when he felt the cool air hit his heated erection. His pants and boxers were removed and thrown to the floor.

"Mm, Cas. Look at you, so hard for me." Dean purred, running his fingers up Castiel's length, stopping to circle his thumb over the sensitive tip, smearing the pre come that had gathered there. "Tell me how hard you are for me. Tell me how bad you want me."

"Want you so bad, Dean. So..mmm...so hard for you" Cas breathed.

"Want me to suck that pretty cock, Cas?"

Dean gripped Cas's cock in his hand, slowly pumping his fist, watching as his lover's breathing became more labored.

"Oh God, yes, yes please Dean"

Dean grinned, pushing Cas back against the arm of the couch, spreading his legs. Dean then shifted his position so he could get better access to Cas's erection, running his hands up and down his thighs, flicking his tongue against Cas's tip. Cas shivered and absent mindedly bucked his hips forward. Dean responded by placing his hands on Cas's hips, firmly holding them down.

"Dean, please..." Cas whined.

"What that, Cas? I didn't quite hear you. Tell me what you want" Dean teased, placing a chaste kiss against Cas's shaft.

"P...please Dean. Want you to suck my cock." Cas begged. Dean smiled and took Cas in his mouth in one swift movement, causing a loud moan to escape the blue eyed man's lips. Dean just bobbed his head up and down, swirling his tongue around the tip every time he reached the tip. He released one hand off of Cas's hips and brought it down, cupping Cas's now heavy balls. Cas gripped onto the couch, throwing his head back in ecstasy, breathing heavily.

"Oh my God, feels so good Dean, please don't stop" he groaned. Dean just replied by massaging his balls in his hand, hollowing out his cheeks to get better suction around Cas's cock, bobbing his head faster. Cas knew he was close. He felt that familiar pull in his gut and as fate would have it, right has he started to climax, the front door swung open, Sam and Gabriel each expressing their disgust and shock. To Cas's horror, Dean didn't stop and Cas couldn't hold back his moans as Dean sucked him through his orgasm, swallowing every last drop of his come.

Dean finally pulled up, not caring that the two younger siblings witnessed him bring his lover to orgasm, and placed a wet kiss on Cas's lips.

"Seriously, Dean?" he heard Sam ask, horror in his voice.

Dean just sat back on the couch casually, looking at his brother as Cas scrambled to pull his pants on.

Gabriel stormed over and stood in front of a now dressed Cas.

"Castiel, this has to fucking stop. Look at what he's doing to you! What happened to you, man?" Gabriel asked, his eyes baring into Castiel's. Sam followed in after Gabe and knew that it was now or never, they needed to get the two lovers to part ways.

"What happened to me, Gabriel? I fell in love." Cas said matter-of-factly.

Gabriel scoffed, a humorless laugh escaping his lips. "This is not love, Cassie. He does not love you. You are in lust and that's it."

Dean jumped in before Cas could speak.

"Don't fucking tell him what I do and do not feel, Gabriel Novak. I love Castiel. Now fuck off, 'cause this shit is getting real old, real fast." he growled, not in the mood to hear yet again another lecture.

"Dean.." Sam said calmly. "Look, I love you but what you two have is unhealthy. Cas is a good kid, man. You could have anybody you want, just let Cas go and live his life."

This time it was Cas's turn to voice his opinion. He turned to Sam, annoyance etched on his features.

"I didn't have a life to live, before Dean came along, Samuel. I am a big boy and I can make my own choices."

"Castiel you're being fucking stupid. Dean is using you for his own sick pleasure. Dean isn't okay, he's sick in the head you dumbass!" Gabriel yelled. Sam noticed the look of fury on Dean's face, his fists clenching.

"Gabe, maybe we should go, give things time to simmer down" Sam advised, not liking the direction this conversation was going in.

"You know what, Sam? No. I'm done sitting and watching my brother be abused and defiled by yours. Cas, there's a lot you don't even know about Dean. Do you wanna know why Michael stopped talking to you? Come on, guess!"

"You shut your fucking mouth Gabriel or I swear to God..." Dean warned, standing up, sizing the shorter man up.

Cas simply remained in his seat, watching the exchange between his lover and his brother.

"Gabriel, now isn't the right time.." Sam started.

"Shut up, Sam! Stop trying to protect your sick brother! Dean threatened Michael, Cas. Said if he ever spoke to you again, he would kill him. But that's just the cherry on the cake. Remember how someone beat the kid half to death in the school bathroom? Yeah, that was your precious Dean. He beat Michael to a bloody pulp and made Michael give him a blowjob. He is sick in the head!"

Dean went to lunge at Gabriel but was held back by Sam.

"What? Is that true, Dean?" Cas asked.

"The fucker had it coming, you were mine, Castiel and I told you, nobody was going to stand in the way of making you mine!"

"He isn't your property, Dean! He is a person and he was good until he met you! It's now or fucking never Sam, tell Cas what you told me or so help me God I will do it myself!' Gabriel demanded.

Dean looked at Sam, confused.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I went through your phone and seen the pictures you took of Cas" Sam said quietly, avoiding his brothers gaze.

Cas stood up, looking at Sam.

"I am aware Dean had taken compromising photos of me, Sam. This is not news."

Sam let out a broken sigh.

"Cas, Dean has pictures of you from before you started seeing each other. Pictures of you in the school shower, of you walking around town, even a couple of you in your bed. Cas, Dean broke into your house and took pictures of you sleeping. He had been following you since he met you." Sam said, sad eyes looking at Cas, who looked stunned.

"Oh, and that's not all, Castiel. Sam found texts between him and some random guy. Remember when you got jumped in that alleyway back in December? Yeah well your precious Dean hired that guy to attack you so he could be the one to save you! He is a monster and he is sick and he needs help!" Gabriel added.

"Cas, don't believe them. I love you, they're just trying to break us apart!" Dean pleaded, grabbing Cas's hands.

"You...you broke into my house? And you hired someone to hurt me? Dean...I...I thought you were in love with me" Cas said, tears filling his eyes.

"I am in love with you. Come on Castiel, don't listen to this shit"

Cas just ripped his hands away from Dean's, letting a tear fall down his cheek.

"I...I think you should leave, Dean" he said quietly.

"Yeah, I agree" Gabriel scoffed. Dean shoved past his brother and lunged at Gabriel, punching him hard in the face. Sam tried pulling Dean off, but fell back when he felt Dean's elbow collide with his face. He held his face in his hands and blood started to flow from his nose. He watched in horror as Dean's hands wrapped around Gabriel's neck and started to squeeze. He watched as Cas panicked and grabbed a glass vase off the end table and smashed it over Dean's head, causing him to stumble and let go of Gabriel.

"Get the fuck out of my house Dean, before I call the police!" Cas cried, kneeling down beside his brother protectively.

"Cas..." Dean started. "I didn't mean to. Please."

"Out!" Cas screamed.

Dean just grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the house, slamming the door hard on his way out. Sam just sat on the floor, still in shock. His brother had never hit him before. He couldn't believe what had just went down. Castiel was crying and holding Gabriel, who was rubbing at his neck, allowing himself to be held.

Dean sped home in his beloved Impala, not caring about the speed limit. He had never felt so many emotions at once. For the first time in his life he felt guilt. He had hit his baby brother, the one person he promised to protect no matter what. He had lost everything. The pain of losing Castiel was sickening. He knew Sam would never forgive him. He didn't want to live in a world without Sam or Cas. Without them, there was nothing worth living for. He got home and packed a bag, making sure to grab the bottle of untouched whiskey he had hidden under his bed for a special occasion. He chugged at the bottle as he packed more of his belongings. By the time he was done packing, he was already pretty drunk. He wanted to get as far away from that small, bullshit town as he could. Sam didn't need him anymore. He could take care of himself and was better off without him, anyway. He sloppily wrote Sam a note, leaving it on his bed before grabbing his bags, stepping out into the bitter winter air and packing himself and his bags into the Impala, pulling out of the parking lot and driving away from his home.

OoO

**A/N:  
Don't worry folks there's still some more to go, it won't end as grim as this. I will try my darnedest to update in the next couple of days, for as I stated before, I already know how this will end and all that but just need the time to actually write it :P**

Anyway, hope you enjoy and lemme know what you think :) 


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:  
Hello there! It seems as if my daughter's flu decided to pay me a visit, thus rendering me incapable of going to school today, which works out for you, my friends, because I'm bored from being in bed all day and wanted to write.**

I wanna say thank you to theincredibleinkspitter, MarcosFreckles, Kylie and Anonymous for the reviews, and thank you for sticking with me!

To the somewhat negative review that a guest reviewer who named themselves "Wow", I'd have to say you were right in one aspect. I should not have labeled this fic as a romance, because it simple is not one. When I first started writing, I intended it to be a romance but got lost in the story and it turned into something entirely different, so thank you for pointing that out. As for your other comment about Dean being an abusive rapist and yadda yadda, I _DID _post warnings about the dark themes and the violence and the non-con, so that shouldn't have come as a surprise. If that's not your cup of tea, friend, well then this obviously isn't the right story for you.

Anyhow, sorry about that, my other faithful readers, and we shall now get this show on the road!

Chapter 17:

Later that evening, Sam reluctantly went home. He was afraid that Dean would still be angry, and take his frustrations out on him. The shock of being hit by his older brother still hasn't worn off, but he knew he couldn't hide out at the Novak house forever. Gabriel insisted he stay, but he refused. It was tense and uncomfortable there. Cas and Gabriel had got into a huge blow out fight after Dean had left, with Castiel blaming Gabriel for ruining the best thing he had ever had for himself, and when Gabriel pointed out that it was all a lie, a manipulation, Cas surprised everyone, including himself, by slapping Gabe across the face, before storming to his room, slamming the door behind him. Gabriel thanked Sam profusely for doing the right thing by telling Cas the truth, and Sam had just replied with a simple nod. He knew he did the right thing, but it didn't make him feel any better about it. He had sold out his own brother, invaded his privacy and angered him to the point of violence. He had to find his brother and try to make things right, try to explain to him why he did the things he did.

When he got home finally, he noticed Dean's car was missing. He noted that as strange as he entered their small apartment. He wasn't fully surprised to see that the apartment was a mess, he knew Dean would have come home and thrown a fit, destroying anything he could. What did surprise him though, is when he entered Dean's room to see the clothes from his drawers and small closet gone, along with the money in Dean's emergency fund jar. Sam took out his cellphone and dialed Dean's number, but was discontented when he heard the familiar jingle of Dean's ringtone coming from his bed. Sam picked up Dean's phone and sighed. He had purposely left it behind. Feeling vexed, he left Dean's room and entered his own to see if Dean had taken any of his belongings. He was pleased to see his room in its usual pristine condition, but a frown found its way onto his features as he spotted a note. He picked up the small piece of paper with curiosity and unfolded it. Presented before him was the unmistakable less than perfect penmanship of his older brother. He felt a pang of guilt wash through him as he read the words in front of him.

**_Sammy,_**

i am so sorrrry that i hit you,  
gabrriel was rite when he said i was a monseter.  
I am. I hurt u and cas and i feel sick beecuase of it. 

_**Im goin away forever nd you can live with the novaks and il never conact you again. **_

_**I love you nd youl be fine w/out me. Keep bein smart and make mom proud like yu make me proud.**_

**_Dont look 4 me,_**

Dean.

Sam could tell by the spelling errors and multiple mistakes that Dean was drunk when he wrote it, and though he would like to believe that Dean only left because he was drunk, he knew that Dean had no intentions on coming back. Sam felt tears sting his eyes as he crumpled the note up and threw it against the wall. All his life Dean had taken care of him without a complaint in the world. He was the only person that Dean never lost his patience with, the only person Dean cared about more than himself. There would be nights where they would have to split a can of soup that Dean had stolen from the grocery store because their father hadn't left them with enough money for food, and if Dean noticed after Sam finished his half of the soup that he was still hungry, he wouldn't hesitate before pushing his half bowl of soup toward him, letting him eat it. He remembered the times their dad came home drunk off his ass, looking for a fight. Of course, Sam was an easy target but the moment they heard their dad say "where the fuck are my pansy ass sons?", Dean would hide Sam in the closet and take the beatings for him, and when Sam cried after seeing Dean's busted up face, Dean would hold him and tell him that it's not his fault, and not to worry about his cuts because scars were, as he put it "bad ass".  
Dean, for all his faults, under all his layers of fucked up, was a good person. If Sam had to guess, all the years of abuse, and witnessing their mother's murder was the reason for the thick mask that Dean never took off. It was a lot easier to shut the guilt off, to manipulate and hurt people, then to be the one being manipulated and hurt. At that moment, Sam felt extreme culpability for not trying harder to help his brother through his issues. Instead of offer to talk about them, or push to get him help, he enabled Dean's harsh behavior by ignoring it, even using it to his advantage when he used to get bullied in middle school. Dean had been gone for hours now, and Sam knew finding him without a car or a phone would be near impossible. So bundled up, left the apartment, and headed to the police station to report his brother missing. He knew they wouldn't do anything until 24 hours passed but Dean was a danger to himself and others, so he had to do something.

OoO

Dean had been driving for about an hour, stopping only once to purchase a new bottle of whiskey, the one he brought with him being finished long ago, and to use the bathroom. He wasted no time in cracking open the new bottle of alcohol, stumbling to the car before getting back in. To say he was drunk would be an understatement. He was hammered. His body felt heavy, his hands felt numb, and his head was swimming. But the whiskey proved to be successful in aiding his mission to just forget. To forget everything that happened. Forget Sam, and the look of aghast on his face when his elbow had collided with it, to forget the look of terror on Gabriel's face as he tried to choke the life out of him, and most of all, to forget the look of betrayal and hurt on his precious Castiel's face as the truth came out.

By the time he got on the road again, the winter sky was already darkening, a steady fall of large damp snowflakes falling to the ground. There was a blizzard warning on the news, and as the wind started to pick up, Dean would guess that it was on its way. Dean slammed on the gas pedal, taking off down the highway. With one hand he chugged from his quickly depleting supply of liquor. He had his radio on full blast, singing along loudly to Blue Oyster Cult's (Don't Fear) The reaper. The snow was falling heavily on the windshield of his Impala, obscuring his vision even more that the alcohol. He was going fast, 140 mph, when he dropped his bottle of whiskey. He cursed to himself and leaned over to pick it up off of the floor of his car, when he passed a red light, not having a moment to react as a large Mack truck collided with the passenger side of his car, at a moment everything going black.

_"Dean.."_

Dean slowly opened his eyes, looking around him. He was surrounded by white, and nothing else. No furniture, no windows, no ceilings, just endless white.

"Dean, baby.." he heard, the familiarity of the voice causing his chest to swell.

He slowly stood up, taken aback when he didn't feel any pain. He felt calm and sober.

"Dean.." the voice continued. He looked around and didn't see anybody in sight, his brows furrowed as he felt a gentle hand rest on his shoulder from behind.

"Baby boy.."

He turned around swiftly, his breath catching in his throat. He felt his eyes burn with tears, his heart rate increasing.

"Mom?" he asked, a stray tear escaping his eye and making its way down his cheek.

"Hey, baby. Don't cry" his mother comforted, resting her hand on his cheek, brushing the stray tear away with the pad of her thumb.

"Mom, what am I doing here? What are you doing here?" Dean asked in disbelief. He wondered if he was dreaming, a little dumbfounded with the realization that he had not dreamt since his mother died.

"Baby, you're hurt. Why did you go and hurt yourself?" his mother asked, concern etched on her features.

"Mom, I did something bad. I'm a bad person. I deserve to be hurt. Am I dying? Where am I?"

"Oh, baby. You are not a bad person. You have to fight the feeling to give up, honey. I know you want to, it's why you're here. You're just hanging on down there, my sweet baby Dean. You need to fight it, your brother needs you."

"I hurt Sammy. I'm not okay, mom. Something is wrong with me. Why can't I feel? Why do I want to hurt people? I'm just like...oh God, I'm just like dad. But I'm worse, mom. Dad was an abusive asshole because he drank. I'm worse, because I hurt people for my own enjoyment. I hurt my own brother, mom. Little Sam. I was supposed to protect him." Dean said, his voice cracking. "I want to give up, I don't want to be alive, I want to come home, come home with you" he sobbed.

He felt his mother's arms wrap around him, her hand rubbing soothing circles onto his back.

"Dean, I would love for you to come home but it's not your time, baby. You are not sick, or broken. You are lost, and it is not too late to right your wrongs. I know you more than you know yourself, baby boy. You are good. You are kind. You have a heart of gold. What you've done and who you've become does not define who you are. You simply need to drop the mask, my precious boy. Trust that everything will be okay, let your brother take care of you for once and get better for not only yourself, but him. Oh, honey. Sammy loves you so much, you know he would forgive you. Show him that it's not too late to have a real family, Dean. Your father failed him but it is not to late for you." Mary said soothingly.

Dean sobbed, gripping onto the same white nightgown his mother wore when she was killed.

"I should have protected you, mom. I miss you" he said quietly.

"And I miss you, my sweet boy. But it was not your job to protect me. Trust me when I say nothing could have stopped what happened that night. I'm so sorry you had to witness what you did, but I'm in a better place, and I get to watch over my two precious sons. We will be together again one day, sweetie, but today is not that day. I will always be with you, in here" she said, pointing to his heart. "Now fight it, baby. Promise me you'll fight it and you'll return to your brother."

Dean sniffled and nodded.

"I promise..."

"Clear! We got a heartbeat fellas!" he heard a male voice yell. He couldn't open his eyes, they were swollen shut. He felt searing pain course through his body and uttered the word "mom" before the pain rendered him unconscious.

OoO

**A/N:  
I wanna give a huge thanks to the guest reviewer Jackie who gave me the idea for the scene with Mary and Dean, you helped me a great deal in figuring out how I wanted this story to end so a million thank yous my friend!  
Also I'm pretty sure that the next chapter will be the last, and I'll try to tie up all loose ends for you guys. Thank you for your continuous support, my lovelies!**

Lemme know what you think! :)


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:  
Well, I believe this is the end, my fabulous friends. I am actually very deeply saddened that this is coming to an end, this is my very first fic. I used to write when I was around 13-14, it was my escape but after a ton of personal issues arose I stopped and never found joy in it again until now, 9 years later. And I honestly have you all to thank. This may have not been the most successful fic to ever be written but the favorites, follows, and reviews meant the world to me, and helped re-fuel my passion for writing. You are all so wonderful and I wish I knew you all personally so I could give you the most epic of hugs. I apologize for the sappy author's note but as stated, I just wanted to give thanks. I hope that you all got enjoyment out of my writing and hope that you are all content with the ending, which, by the way, was an absolute bitch to come up with, haha.  
Anyway, here you all go! :')**

Chapter 18:

Dean awoke with a splitting headache. He tried to open his eyes, but they felt heavy and the moment they opened even a sliver, the brightness was too blinding and they quickly closed again. He remembered the bright whiteness of his "encounter" with his mother. For a split second, he hoped he was with her again.

"Mom?" he croaked, his voice scratchy from not using it. Instead of hearing his mother's reply, though, he heard another familiar voice.

"Oh my God! Dean!? You're awake! I knew you could do it!" he heard the voice exclaim.

Dean felt his head swim with confusion, and he fought to open his eyes, curiosity taking over the blinding pain. His sight was momentarily blurred, but he blinked his eyes furiously and was relieved when his vision became clearer. He heard a faint beeping, and the sound of machines beside him. He furrowed his brow, growing confused, until a balding man in a white coat hovered over him, coming into his line of vision.

"Hello, Dean. How are you feeling?" the man asked, pulling Dean's eyelids open to get a look at his pupils. Dean thrashed his head to the side, not wanting to be touched. He felt like his body was on fire. Everything just ached so bad.

"Wh..who are you?" Dean managed to ask. "Where am I?"

"Dean, my name is . You are at Jefferson Memorial Hospital, you were involved in an accident." the man replied, checking Dean's stats on the machines he was hooked up to.

"I...I'm sore"

"Your vitals look good, your blood pressure is a little high but other than that you're doing well, considering. A nurse will be in shortly to administer some morphine for the pain, and I will return in a little while to discuss the extent of your injuries, and come up with a treatment plan." the Doctor said, exiting the room. Dean was still a bit confused, his mind hasn't caught up with him yet.

"Dean?" he heard a quiet voice ask.

He slowly and carefully turned his head to the side, his eyes meeting the red and tear filled ones of his beloved little brother.

"Sammy?" he asked in his hoarse voice.

Sam sniffled and grabbed Dean's hand in his, scooting his chair closer to Dean's bed.

"Dean..." Sam sobbed, his tears now free falling. "I thought you were gone, man. I thought I would never see you again. You flat lined twice and I thought you were...you were..." Sam buried his head into Dean's side, leaning his head on the hospital bed. Dean felt his eyes sting with tears, and he rubbed his thumb soothingly across the back of Sam's hand.

"It's okay, Sammy, I'm here" Dean said quietly.

Dean let Sam cry into his side for a few minutes until he regained his composure, finally sitting up, wiping his runny nose onto the sleeve of his hoodie. Dean watched him, feeling a sadness wash over him.

"Sam, what happened? I...I don't remember.."

Sam took a deep breath, looking absolutely heartbroken. He knew Sam wouldn't want to recall the events that happened but Dean needed to know.

"You were in an accident, De. I don't know what happened, I guess you got drunk and were speeding. A truck hit the car when you passed a red light. Before that happened I reported you missing and the police managed to track down Uncle Bobby, you remember him right? He drove down and came to get me, because I was a minor and had no where else to go after you left..."

Dean felt a huge pang of guilt, remembering the note he left his brother, telling him more or less to fend for himself.

"Sam, I'm sorr-"

Sam held his hand up, signaling Dean not to talk, so he could finish his story. Dean was going to protest, instead opting to close his mouth and give a weak nod.

"Anyway, he came to the police station and was furious. After we had left dad, Bobby tried to find us, but we moved too far away and you changed your number and his efforts were useless. He told me that he would have taken us in, Dean. If we had asked. I told him not to be mad at you, though, because you thought you were doing the right thing by moving as far as possible. We were about to leave the police station when an officer stopped us, and asked us if you drove a '67 Impala. I told him yes, you did and asked him why. He told us that they had found a Dean Winchester unresponsive in a destroyed Chevy Impala somewhere near Indiana, he told us that the car was T boned. Bobby rushed us to Indiana and we went straight to the hospital. You were in emergency surgery when we got there, and the Doctor had told us to prepare for the worst. Your flat lined twice during surgery, and it was touch and go after that. Your brain had swelled, and they had to remove part of your skull to relieve the pressure, your nose was broken, you fractured several ribs and you had internal bleeding, your liver had ruptured, they have you a 5% chance of survival, 5% Dean. Those were only the most serious injuries. You lost a lot of blood, you needed a could of transfusions. Your eyes were swollen shut, you had a sprained wrist, 2 broken fingers, a dislocated hip and extensive bruising. I...I don't know how you survived. You fell into a coma, they had you on life support. We were told you more than likely would never wake up again. Your brain activity was wonky but at least it was there, so thankfully you weren't brain dead. They told us yesterday that we needed to make a choice on whether or not to take you off life support. The Doctor said that if you weren't able to breathe on your own, then chances are you're a goner anyway. Enough time went by that your the swelling in your brain went down, you were healing nicely considering, and it was a now or never option. Either you would breathe on your own or you would never breathe again. I didn't want to do it, but Bobby pointed out to me that you wouldn't have wanted to be hooked up to machines, letting them live for you. So I told them that we would give it a go. God, Dean. I was so scared. I didn't sleep a wink last night. Bobby and I stayed in here the entire night, saying our goodbyes just in case. Then today came. Bobby decided to leave me alone with you in case your body decided to quit, so I could say my own goodbyes and grieve a bit. They took you off the machines and I swear time stood still. You weren't breathing, your heart rate decreased, I was positive it you were dead. Then all of a sudden, by some divine miracle, your heart rate increased and you took your first breath, then your second, then your third, then you said "mom" and that's when I knew. I knew I had my big brother back."

Dean stared at his brother in utter shock and disbelief. He didn't think it was nearly that bad. He felt saddened and guilty that Sam had to be put through that.

"How...how long was I out for?" Dean asked, not certain if he really wanted to know.

Sam let out a sad sigh again.

"Almost 14 weeks."

Dean once again, was rendered into shock. He tried to lean over and rub Sam's arm to comfort him, but pain seared through his body, and he cried out. Thankfully at that moment, a nurse came in and started a morphine drip. He tried to talk to Sam, tell him how sorry he was, he much he loved him, but the combination of exhaustion and medication lulled him off into a dreamless sleep.

OoO

When Dean awoke, he felt peaceful. The drugs were clearly working their magic and he was thankful for that. He looked over to his side to see Sam curled up in a chair, reading a book. He allowed himself to smile, before he realized that he didn't deserve to smile at his brother.

"Sam?"

Sam looked up from his book to Dean, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

"Hey, De. How you feeling?"

"Better. Medicated. Look, Sam. About what happened before the accident..."

Sam shook his head and relocated to the chair closer to Dean's bed, once again taking his hand.

"Doesn't matter, Dean. I know you didn't mean to. I shouldn't have intruded on your life like that, I was just trying to do the right thing." Sam said sadly.

"That doesn't excuse my behavior, Sammy. I hurt you. And Gabriel. And Cas. Oh, Cas. I broke his heart. I...I don't know why I did it, Sam. Something isn't right with me. I'm not okay, and I need help..."

Dean watched as Sam's eyes filled with tears. Sam picked Dean's hand up and pulled it to his chest, half hugging it.

"Oh, Dean. I'm so relieved you said that. We can get you help, if you want it." Sam pleaded. He wasn't sure what made his brother release he wasn't right, he was usually so filled with pride. It was the first time that Sam has ever seen Dean without his mask. He looked so vulnerable and sad.

"Yeah, Sam. I think I do. I don't want to feel this way anymore. I spent so much time being angry. Angry at mom for dying, angry at myself for being angry at mom, being angry at the pieces of shit who took her from us, angry at dad for being such a fuck up." Dean shook his head in disgust at himself.

"Dean, you don't need to be angry. You me, and you have Bobby. We lost the apartment since you were out for so long, but we have all our stuff in storage and we can stay with Bobby. What made you want to change, De? It's a bit out of character of you" Sam let out a small laugh, causing a slight smile to form on Dean's lips.

"I saw mom, Sam. I know, it sounds crazy but I swear it was her, I felt her hug, and smelled her perfume, and I promise I'm not insane, Sammy-"

Dean was cut off by Sam, who hugged onto his hand even tighter.

"Dean, I don't think you're crazy. What did mom say?" Sam asked, feeling his eyes burn at the mention of the mother he never really got to know.

"She told me that it wasn't too late for me. She told me not to give up and die and to give you a good life. She...she told me I was good. Nobody has ever said I was good, before, Sammy. I almost lost you, I lost Castiel, and I almost lost myself. I promised her I would get better. That I would fight." Dean said, surprised when he felt a warm tear roll down his cheek.

Sam smiled warmly at his brother, and for the first time, felt hope for the future.

"Dean I can promise you, you'll never lose me. And you haven't lost Castiel. But..." Sam's smile fell, a sad look replacing it.

"But what, Sam...?

"After your accident, Castiel tried to kill himself. He locked himself in the bathroom and cut himself. Gabriel had to kick the door down and call 911 when Cas didn't wake up. He lost a lot of blood and needed surgery to repair the tendons he severed. When he was asked why he did he said he couldn't live in a world without you in it. He felt partially responsible for the accident, he said that he manipulated you into getting violent, and that he liked it. He felt bad for kicking you out and egging you on instead of helping you when he felt something was wrong with you. After the suicide attempt he agreed to get treatment for his depression and his obsession with pain. Gabriel told me he was diagnosed with bi-polar, depression and something called masochistic personality disorder. He's on medication now and is in therapy to help with his urges. I know it sounds bad, Dean. But in a way you saved Cas. He's doing so much better now, last I heard. Him and Gabriel are closer than ever and Cas is learning to love himself."

Dean smiled a sad smile.

"Sweet Castiel. He was always a good egg. It was my fault he became a masochist. You told me to stay away and I corrupted a truly great person." Dean sniffled, trying to hold back tears.

"Dean, it would have came out either way. It is his personality, it was always there, it just got triggered due to your relationship. He asks about you, you know. He was never mad at you. He felt a little betrayed, yes, but after going through therapy and realizing that his actions weren't entirely his fault, he knew that it was because you needed help too that you acted the way you did. He wants you to get better, Dean. We all do."

Dean wiped the tears that free fell from his eyes, and nodded.

"I'll do whatever it takes. I promise I'll get better."

OoO

**2 years later:**

"Dean, come on, let's get a move on!" Sam yelled.

He laughed as he heard Dean barrel down the creaking stairs of Bobby's house.

"Jesus, hold your damn horses, bitch!"

"Jerk!"

The two brothers headed out into the warm July sun and piled into the now restored Impala. They had planned on going on a road trip that summer, something both brothers had been looking forward to for months. Dean spent the entire previous summer fixing his beloved car, as a form of therapy. It gave him something to focus on, something to be proud of, and to his surprise, he felt a feeling he had forgotten existed, accomplishment.  
The first year of Dean's recovery was tough on him, Sam and Bobby. He was an emotional wreck and often lost his temper, or broke down in tears. He repressed his feelings for so long that he forgot how to feel like a normal person, and it took a lot of patience for his brother and Uncle to deal with his outbursts. Dean was initially diagnosed with severe depression, pi-polar disorder, and borderline personality disorder. It took a while to find they right medication for him, but when it was found, the changes in his entire demeanor were almost instant. He was prescribed anti-depressants, and anti-psychotic, and anti-anxiety medication to take when he felt anxious or enraged, to calm him down. He spent 2 years undergoing intense psychotherapy, having to see his therapist every other day for the first year, reducing the following year to once a week. He knew it wasn't a cure for who he used to be, but he stuck with it. He would need long term therapy and he was surprisingly okay with that. Him and Sam were closer than ever, and Bobby became a surrogate father for them, clothing them, feeding them, and giving them a roof over their heads. After Dean had repaired the Impala, Bobby had allowed him to take a part time job at the salvage yard he owned, giving Dean yet another therapeutic outlet to indulge in.  
Once he got the "okay" from his therapist to go on the road trip with Sam, he was ecstatic. It had been a long 2 years and he hadn't left Bobby's house much except to pick Sam up from school or take him to the occasional movie or diner. Dean decided to drop out of school to focus on his treatment. He managed to get his GED and he was content with that, happy working at the salvage yard. He hadn't spoken to Castiel since the night of the accident but heard from Sam he was doing fantastic, he graduated and started at the local college, enrolling in the art program. He had really come out of his shell, apparently and was flourishing. The thought made Dean happy. Throughout his treatment he realized his feelings for Cas were genuine, he truly loved the man. But he never let go of the guilt that he held for causing Cas's life spiraling out of control, so he told Sam to give Cas his well wishes and he never made an effort to contact Castiel again, opting to let him have a chance at finding a normal relationship and live his life happily.

Dean and Sam had been driving for 4 hours when the entered the very town that broke both Cas and Dean. Dean wanted to pass through the town as quick as possible and move on to the next but Sam insisted they stop and grab a bite to eat. After much protesting, Dean succumbed to Sam's famous puppy dog eyes and they stopped in at the local diner. Dean wanted to just grab the food and leave, they could eat in the car. Sam agreed to this, much to Dean's pleasure.

Dean was standing at the counter waiting for his and Sam's orders to be ready, not paying attention when someone walked up behind him.

"Hello, Dean"

Dean felt his heart skip a beat, his palms becoming clammy. He took a deep breath and turned around.

"Cas.." Dean breathed.

Castiel looked amazing. He was wearing a pair of form fitting black jeans, black dress shoes, and a navy blue button-down, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair had managed to grow more wild, his dark brown locks sticking out in all directions. There was something in his eyes though, a peacefulness, and confidence that Dean had never seen before. Dean let his eyes absent mindedly roam down Cas's body, his heart constricting when he spotted the deep scars on Cas's wrists.

"How are you, Dean? It has been a while. Sam tells me you're well." Cas said, a genuine smile playing on his face. Dean couldn't help but smile back.

"I'm doing great, Cas. I feel a lot better, a lot lighter, you know?"

"I believe I do know. I wanted to come visit you in the hospital, but I fell apart, and needed to get help"  
Cas said sadly.

"I know, I know. And it's okay, Cas, really. I'm just happy you're okay. I never stopped feeling guilty for putting you through that."

"It's quite alright, Dean. It wasn't all bad. You showed me how to live, you gave me my first love, my first everything, actually. It was a rocky road but we both grew from it, think of it as a blessing in disguise" a small smirk formed on Cas's lips, and Dean felt his heart melt.

"I guess you're right."  
Cas smiled, and Dean was distracted as the woman behind the counter spoke.

"Sir, your order is ready" she said, handing him the bag. He thanked her and payed, looking out to the parking lot to see the Impala gone. He frowned as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out and read the text message.

**Took the car to go see Gabriel. Give my food to Cas ;)  
Be good, make things right.**

Sam.

Dean laughed to himself. Of course this was Sam's doing. Sam knew that Dean never stopped loving Cas, and unknown to Dean, Gabriel had told Sam that Cas still loved Dean. Gabriel had long since forgiven Dean for his attack, and though he was skeptical at first, him and Sam created a plan to get the two men to talk, to resolve their issues and maybe build a friendship again.

"You hungry, Cas? Looks like Sam ditched me and I now have two meals and no car" Dean laughed, holding the bag of food up.

"I'm starving, Dean" Cas smiled.

They walked over to a booth in the corner and munched on their food. They talked and laughed and it felt...good. They both were pleased when none of their former urges came out. There was no sexual hunger, no violent urges, and no urges to be controlled. It was as if they were meeting for the first time. And who knows, maybe they had a second chance at love.

OoO

**A/N:**

Uhh, there it is friends. Idk if I'm happy with how this ended but it's the only thing I could come up with. I may do an epilogue in the future but for now this is where the road ends. I'm sorry if you guys didn't like it but hey.  
Again thank you from the moon and back for your support with his story. I love you all like Cas loves burgers.

A bunch of X's and a bunch of O's.

:') 


End file.
